Philly Fans

Chiefs parade proved it again — the narrative is always different when it's Philly

USA Today Images/NBC Sports Philadelphia

Chiefs parade proved it again — the narrative is always different when it's Philly

As you all know by now, the Kansas City Chiefs are Super Bowl Champions, former Eagles head coach Andy Reid will finally get his well-deserved ring and we have reached the end of yet another NFL season.

All seemed right in the world, especially for Chiefs fans who flooded the streets for the parade to celebrate their win. But as the event progressed, a few things started to unfold which most people just laughed off, or deemed it as a happy city enjoying their championship.

This got me thinking  — if any of it happened in Philly (heck, some of it did), we’d have a whole new ‘throwing snowballs at Santa’ fiasco. Seriously, I was negative 29 years old when that happened. If this generation of sports fans can leave that in the past, it’d be awesome.

However, not quite sure if we can overlook the fan that ate horse poop on Broad St. to celebrate the city’s first Super Bowl. Maybe we can just pretend that never happened … but regardless, it had to be mentioned here since someone, somewhere would’ve brought it up. Now you don’t have to  — you’re welcome.

But alas, since it happened in Philadelphia, it will loom over us until the end of eternity.

Well, there were a few things that stood out like a sore thumb during yesterday’s parade that have to be discussed.

First off, have you ever seen a car chase to lead off a parade? After yesterday, Chiefs fans can say they have … and now all of the internet can say so, too. Luckily no one in the crowd was hurt but it was still a shocking sight to see. I’ve seen comments saying that Chiefs fans really know how to party and it was passed off more as a joke … but everyone knows if this went down in Philadelphia, it’d be deemed as reckless and tacked on to the city’s reputation.

Next is due to the unfortunate placement of a parking meter. Super Bowl MVP Patrick Mahomes threw a football into the crowd of fans on the parade route and of course, who wouldn’t want to catch it? Poor guy didn’t take his eyes off the ball and ran right into the parking meter.

It’s almost like a weird parallel for Philadelphia with this one. While no one ran into things on the street during the parade (that we know of)  — mainly due to the fact the curbs were packed with fans and were essentially sardines who couldn’t move  — we do have this gem following the NFC Championship Game:

So similar, yet the reactions for both couldn’t be more different.

And finally, what is Philadelphia best known for when celebrating? Climbing things  — let’s call it the most intense ‘the floor is lava’ game the world has ever known. Turns out, it may be a skill that comes with living in the area …

... because this Chiefs fan did not have too much luck.

And yet, we’re made fun of for how we celebrate and this fella was living in the moment.

Nothing in this world makes sense.

Even though Philly has this kind of reputation … at least we can do it right.

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Eagles’ Super Bowl gets Final Jeopardy shoutout

Eagles’ Super Bowl gets Final Jeopardy shoutout

It’s not the NFL postseason, but for a certain sect of TV fans, this week’s Jeopardy! Greatest of All Time tournament is must-see programming.

On Thursday night, while the Sixers were busy dispatching the Boston Celtics, Lancaster native and Jeopardy! legend Brad Rutter made the game show must-see TV for the entire Philly area.

In Thursday night’s Final Jeopardy round, at the end of three straight days of competition against fellow legends Ken Jennings and James Holzhauer, Rutter found himself substantially behind in terms of winnings. So he decided to have some fun and shout out his favorite football team, the Philadelphia Eagles, rather than try to stage a comeback.

We are so glad he did it:

Few numbers bring a smile to the faces of Eagles fans like 41 and 33 next to each other. Rutter, a Philly native, knew his audience, and he delivered on the biggest stage.

Besides the obvious, Alex Trebek not acknowledging the meaning of $4,133 is the highlight here for me, and hilariously on-brand for him.

Ignore the tournament standings: Rutter absolutely won this week’s contest.

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There's nothing worse than a Dallas Cowboys fan from Philadelphia

There's nothing worse than a Dallas Cowboys fan from Philadelphia

The most anticipated day in every child’s life is Christmas morning. The most anticipated day in every Eagles fan’s life is the day they play the Cowboys at the Linc. Dallas Week gets my juices flowing because I hate Cowboys fans and the way that “America’s Team” has brainwashed people all across the country. 

There’s the cliched fan of the Cowboys, Yankees and Lakers that exists nationwide. Congrats on growing up in the ‘70s or ‘90s and having no backbone, guys! Those fans are terrible, but in a sense, I get it. Those people just like every single good team from their youth and never grew out of the bandwagon stage of fandom as they became adults. There is a worse version of that fan though. 

We’ve all driven behind them during gridlock traffic on I-76: Pennsylvania or New Jersey license plate, Dodge pick-up truck, suspension lift, truck nuts and then there’s a Cowboys star magnet on the back of the tailgate. My blood boils as I wonder how that person lives with themselves every day as they rep the antithesis of what makes Philadelphia the special place that is. I don’t care if your dad liked Roger Staubach growing up or if he liked the cheerleaders or the star on the helmets or the silver pants and he passed his disease of front-running onto you. 

To be a true sports fan in Philadelphia is to love the Eagles. To love the Eagles is to hate the Cowboys.

It’s as simple as that. Being a Cowboys fan from Philly is just standing in defiance of all those hard-working, blue collar stereotypes of Philadelphia that have been ingrained in me my whole life. It’s taking the easy way out. It’s preferring the style of Michael Irvin or Ezekiel Elliott over the substance of Brian Dawkins or Malcolm Jenkins. It’s rooting for Darth Vader to slaughter all the Jedi. 

Taking the easy way out hasn’t even worked out for them because that never works out in life. The Cowboys haven’t been consistently good for two decades. Dallas has won two playoff games since 1996. The Eagles have won 13, including one Super Bowl (Nick Foles caught a touchdown in that game in case you forgot). 

What do these people even get out of being Cowboys fans? Sports, at its simplest level, is for civic pride. I’m not just rooting for the Eagles when I watch them play. I’m rooting for Philadelphia and the other people in this city. I’m rooting for us to feel vindicated about overcoming the rest of world’s negative perception of Philly and its people. 

I can’t imagine there being a more blissful, uniting moment in Philadelphia’s modern history than when the Eagles won the Super Bowl. It felt as if every person in the city poured into the streets as they hugged strangers and cried with their families about the impossible finally happening. The victory parade felt like Philadelphians let out a collective sigh of relief and partied their way through the city’s most mythologized day.

Every dude from Grays Ferry or Roxborough who has never stepped foot in Texas and never will, despite worshipping Emmitt Smith and his mediocre 4.2 yards per carry, didn’t get to join in that euphoric celebration. I’ve hated these people my whole life and now I’m not sure if it’s hate as much as it is that I pity them. What are they going to do if the Cowboys win the Super Bowl? That’ll never happen while Jerry Jones still runs the team, but are they going to hang out on South Broad Street with the other bandwagon frauds from the neighborhood? I’d pelt them with tomatoes while riding in the back of my dad’s F-150. 

I can’t wait to see these Dallas “fans” at The Linc Sunday night though. You’ll be able to easily spot them with their patchy chinstrap beards that don’t connect to their moustaches and flat brim Cowboys fitted hats on, all while wearing a Dak Prescott jersey that will be selling for $11.99 at TJ Maxx in 2022 because he’ll be playing for the Saskatchewan Roughriders of the Canadian Football League. 

The Eagles will win on Sunday because Jason Garrett would be underqualified to even be the offensive coordinator at Bishop Eustace. When I see the rows of Zeke and Dak jerseys heading towards the exits during the fourth quarter, I’ll just laugh. They’ll go back home to Mayfair or 2nd Street, where they’ll spend their rest of lives not knowing what it’s like to really be from here. 

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