Around the NFC East: Giants and Redskins show a pulse, Cowboys look DOA

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This week in the NFC East, Washington benefitted from the NFL’s new two-hand-touch rules, the Giants offense finally looked competent, and the rest of the world has figured out what we already knew about the Dallas Cowboys (y’know… that they stink).

Here’s what happened, and what’s happening, this week in the NFC East:

Washington (2-1)

ICYMI: Alex Smith went deep like he’s Aaron Rodgers, Adrian Peterson ran over Green Bay like he was still a Viking, and Vernon Davis / Jimmy Graham both had big plays. I have no idea what year it is. All I know is Washington benefitted from the most controversial play of the week, when Casey Matthews’ brother was flagged for cleanly sacking Smith, and Washington couldn’t blow an early lead, beating the Packers 31-17.

Spin: (INSERT CHIN-SCRATCHING EMOJI HERE). Washington looked way better dismantling Green Bay than the Iggles did squeaking one past the Colts. Then again, Washington lost to the Colts a week earlier (and looked flatter than a pancake doing so). It’s been a weird start to the NFL season, and this Washington squad is pretty representative of that.

What’s Next: BYE -- Which is kinda lame this early, to be honest.

Dallas Cowboys (1-2)

ICYMI: Cowboy-wannabe and Iverson-impersonator Earl Thomas (who is no Brandon Graham) had two interceptions as the defense formerly known as Legion slaughtered the inept Cowboys, 24-13. Dak Prescott was especially awful, and the national audience seems to finally be realizing what many of us picked up on a season ago: he has the abilities of a 4th-round draft pick.

Spin: The House of Dak is crumbling. The man who forced Tony Romo into retirement has thrown for under 200 yards in nine of his last 12 games, including all three this season. If Jerry Jones had a fraction of the brains he thinks he has, he’d trade for Texas-native Nick Foles today. Instead, he’ll probably wait till the offseason to overpay Jameis Winston.

Meanwhile, Jason Garrett is the betting favorite for “First Head Coach Fired.” Please god, let them hire Chip Kelly.

What’s Next: A must-win at home against the Patriot-slaying Lions.

New York Giants (1-2)

ICYMI: Like Washington, the Giants nearly choked away an early lead. Eli Manning did that thing where you think he might be decent, throwing for nearly 300 yards (25/29) and a pair of TDs (maybe he’s figured it out!). The Giants finally benched the rotating door that is Ereck Flowers. Saquon Barkley and OBJ both had huge days on the stat sheet. Gmen beat Texans, 27-22. Yawn.

Spin: Despite featuring a number of premium players, this is a not a premium team by any means. If the Giants offense can consistently click the way it did in the first half (besides a near fumble by Eli), this team could potentially, just maybe, turn their season around. LOL.

What’s Next: The Saints visit Jersey to remind Giants fans that top-tier running backs like Alvin Kamara don’t have to be taken in the first round.
 

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