It's the All-Star Break. The Phillies are historically awful. Jonathan Papelbon is making poop jokes. So what is a Philadelphia fan to do other than to point at the really, really good baseball players on teams that are not our own and find things to make fun of them for.

Thankfully, Washington Nationals star Bryce Harper makes that pretty easy (when he's not being really, really good at baseball).

The Washington Post has a piece today on Harper embracing the superstar spotlight. He loves it. Yes, he's a bit of a narcissist -- which, fine, most athletes are today -- but he also is putting in all the work you want from your best player.

Still, what else do we have to talk about? Let's mock.

This is how Bryce Harper stands out on his own, and how he wants to help baseball stand out as a pursuit. He has said he takes 30 minutes on his pregame hair. He has Instagrammed his tailored suits. He has used a custom-painted bat in a game. And he has undergone an off-beat regimen – and by off-beat, we mean insane – to completely overhaul his physique so that he stood out, he popped, in ESPN The Magazine’s Body Issue.

Emphasis mine.

Maybe Chase should spend a little more time on how he coiffes his hairdo instead of watching all that film?

How he prepared for the ESPN the Mag Body Issue is what caught our attention in the first place:

He did it all, you know, for baseball.