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FakeWIPCaller’s 10-point plan for the Sixers offseason

FakeWIPCaller’s 10-point plan for the Sixers offseason

When it comes to Philadelphia sports these days, everything is bad. 

The Phillies can't get a win. Herrera, Galvis, and Franco all forgot how to hit over the winter.  Mike Trout just tore a thumb ligament, meaning the Phillies can't trade for him for 8 to 10 weeks. 

The Rocky statue is closed for repairs. It's the Stanley Cup Finals this week and the Flyers were eliminated three months ago. The Eagles' starting cornerbacks are still Jalen Mills and Patrick Robinson, and worst of all, Carson Wentz ate a cheesesteak made from venison. 

So I guess it's up to the Sixers to save our city from infamy and laughingstock status. What could possibly go wrong? 

Luckily, Sam Hinkie is long gone, and the Sixers can finally get down to business and build a winning team. Can they do it? Only if they follow my fool-proof, 10-point, offseason plan, using all of our future draft picks and cap space: 

1. Trade up for Markelle Fultz.

2. Trade into the first round again and draft Malik Monk. 

3. Trade up for one more first round pick and get that fat guy with the beard from Gonzaga. 

4. Use all four second-round picks on different Villanova players. 

5. Trade Jahlil Okafor. 

6. Trade that annoying future Lakers pick. 

7. Trade the future Kings pick, but only if necessary. 

8. Sign Kyle Lowry.

9. Sign JJ Redick.

10. Take the entire current medical staff and fire them into the sun.

I see no reason why Bryan Colangelo can't do all ten of those moves. 

I know you Sam Hinkie lovers aren't into this kind of roster construction. You prefer to just keep trading for more and more draft picks to be used on injured guys. Who would you rather have -- a Simmons/Fultz/Lowry/Saric/Embiid lineup, or a squad fronted by JaKarr Sampson and Hollis Thompson?  Sorry, Spike -- some of us are ready to win, right now. 

But if for some reason the Sixers decide to keep their third overall pick, they'll have to draft someone. A ranking of my Sixers pick preference, and the injury that I expect them keep them out for their entire rookie year: 

1. Josh "Torn ACL" Jackson

2. Malik "Ruptured Achilles" Monk

3. D'Aaron "Torn Labrum" Fox

4. Jayson "Setback" Tatum 

5. Jonathan "Plantar Fascitis" Isaac

6. Dennis "Broken Shooting Hand" Smith, Jr 

7. Frank "Inconclusive X-rays" Ntilikina

8. Lauri "Bone Bruise" Markkanen

9. Donovan "Mystery Illness" Mitchell 

10. Bam "Baby Bynum" Adebayo 

I’ll see you in Fall 2018, whoever you are. 

Other Philly Sports takes: 

- The worst thing about that story of Boston fans yelling racial slurs at the Orioles' Adam Jones is the mean things the media would say about Philadelphia fans if that happened here. Sickens me, in fact. 

- By charging the mound and throwing his helmet at the Giants' pitcher on Monday, Bryce Harper became a Phillie, two years ahead of schedule. Don't worry, by the time he gets here he'll have mastered actually landing the helmet throw. 

- Great move by the Eagles to sign LeGarrette Blount. I've liked that guy ever since he punched a guy in a college game. 

Follow @FakeWIPCaller on Twitter. 

Did the Flyers just troll the Eagles on social media?

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NBC Sports Philadelphia

Did the Flyers just troll the Eagles on social media?

The Eagles have been quite the disappointment this season, with the latest being their atrocious 37-31 loss to the Dolphins on Sunday in South Florida. And with disappointments come possible troll jobs? 

As the clock wound down and fans became increasingly exasperated with the team, social media anger started to build and it looks like one fellow Philadelphia team may have added just an oh-so-subtle jab in there.

As the 37-31 score went final, the Flyers sent out quite the interesting reminder of their impressive record this November. It seems like they don’t want fans to forget that they are NOT part of the teams that have been disappointing this city. 

You have to admit, the timing is a bit suspicious. 


Fans certainly seem to think that the Flyers are trolling the Eagles with their post, based on the replies. 

https://twitter.com/sluongo19/status/1201252463703154688 https://twitter.com/btcs41/status/1201252665977720837

We love a little friendly fire between the Philadelphia sports teams, if this is a true troll job. Or maybe it’s just a conveniently scheduled tweet by the Flyers' social media team. 

You be the judge. 

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Eagles social media exposed Orlando Scandrick in the best way

Eagles social media exposed Orlando Scandrick in the best way

Updated: 6:35 p.m.

Oh boy.

Things have gotten wild over in the Eagles' world today, beginning with former Eagles cornerback Orlando Scandrick torching almost everyone on his old team on FS1’s “Undisputed” this morning (see story).

Then, Malcolm Jenkins clapped back at Scandrick in NSFW fashion to essentially dismiss the claims by Scandrick, to which Scandrick then responded on Colin Cowherd’s show that he essentially “wasn’t attacking anyone personally”(see story).

And so, after a morning of ping-ponging back and forth, we have the ultimate response, from the team itself.

The Eagles social media account offically weighed in in the most brilliant way. Actions speak louder than words, Scandrick, and you can't run from history.

Well damn, they really just exposed Scandrick. I mean, how do you come back from being shredded by both Jenkins and a professional NFL team?

So long Scandrick, you won’t be missed.

Jenkins himself apparently liked the tweet, too ... he had a very interesting quote tweet.



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