The700Level

Joel Embiid is ruined forever

Joel Embiid is ruined forever

I said it a few weeks ago, during Joel Embiid’s run of awesome play, and nobody believed me: Joel Embiid is Linsanity all over again. An exciting run of success, led by a dynamic player, for a team that had been terrible for a long time. And after about two weeks, it was over forever. 

Who ruined Embiidsanity? It was the Sixers, who have showed so much contempt for the fans that I haven’t been able to enjoy any of their 21 wins. Bryan Colangelo’s arrogance is almost enough to make me miss the days when they were planning to lose forever under Sam Hinkie.

So how did it all go to hell? Here are my two conspiracy theories: 

1. Joel Embiid was never injured at all, and the Sixers are holding him out in order to secretly tank for a fourth year, and also avoiding paying him whatever bonus money he’d have made from the All-Star Game. Embiid proved it, by dancing at a concert this weekend at the team’s arena despite being too “injured” to play. In our arena! Our sacred arena! When Andrew Bynum went bowling, at least he didn’t do it in the middle of the Wells Fargo Center. 

2. Embiid is injured much more severely than the Sixers are admitting, even beyond the alleged “bone bruise” and “knee contusion.” But because this team is so soft, they won’t take off the bubble wrap and they're intent on defrauding the fans, we’ll never know. 

Which one’s true? Probably both. 

Embiid must play, again, right now, and Ben Simmons must, too, and I don’t care what any MRI, X-ray, or EKG says. If they’re in a little bit of pain, so what? There’s absolutely no scientific evidence that holding injured players out of games makes them healthier. 

Obviously, the Sixers just want us to pay them our money and shut up. But we won’t have it, not in this town. Whatever pain Embiid has in his knee or Simmons has in his foot pales in comparison to the pain of us as fans, having to sit through four years of this tanking charade. 

Other Philly sports takes: 

- Since he’s going to be traded at any moment, what was your favorite Jahlil Okafor moment in Philadelphia? Much as I enjoyed the fighting arrest, the fake ID arrest, the time he entered a game and forgot to take his shirt off and all the times his dad threatened people on Twitter, I’ll always appreciate that when he was arrested for doing over 100 on the Ben Franklin Bridge, he was going towards Philadelphia, as opposed to away from it. Take that as a lesson, Josh Huff.

- Anyway, I’m okay with any Okafor trade, as long as it’s not for draft picks. Enough with the damn draft picks. 

- The Charles Oakley Knicks story made me wonder: Why don’t retired athletes for Philadelphia teams ever show up at games and physically confront the owners? You just know Charles Barkley has been tempted to go after Josh Harris. What’s the point of the Phillies finally having a single owner if Lenny Dykstra or Mitch Williams can’t get into an irrational feud with him? And aren’t there 25 different players the Eagles pushed out in contract disputes who are eager to come to the Linc and take a shot at Jeffrey Lurie? 

- Speaking of Eagles who were pushed out the door too soon… No Terrell Owens or Brian Dawkins in the Hall of Fame? I blame Donovan McNabb for both. 

- I’m not sad Matt Ryan lost the Super Bowl. He may be from here, but why isn’t Ryan as vocal about his local heritage as, say, Mike Trout? Why don’t we ever see Ryan in the crowd at the Linc? Why doesn’t he ever vacation with Eagles players like Trout does? 

- Phillies spring training? When Mike Trout reports to Clearwater, I’ll be interested. Until then… 

- The Eagles released Leodis McKelvin. You may not have liked him here, but just wait until he’s a key contributor on next year’s championship Patriots team. 

- In order to shore up their receiving corps, the Eagles should sign Alshon Jeffery, DeSean Jackson, Pierre Garcon, Kenny Stills and Terrelle Pryor. All those guys, behind Paul Turner, should give Carson Wentz plenty of targets. 

Follow @FakeWIPCaller on Twitter. 

Eagles vets give rookies some bad, hilarious haircuts

haircuts.jpg
Twitter

Eagles vets give rookies some bad, hilarious haircuts

These Super Bowl champions sure do know how to have fun … at the expense of the rookies.

The Eagles' veterans on Tuesday took to social media to showcase their hazing of the team's rookies. Don't worry, it's not the bad kind of hazing. Except if you think bad haircuts and no eyebrows are cruel.

We're going to let the haircuts do the talking.

You can watch more of the Eagles' barbershop here.

More on the Eagles

Eagles fans troll Patriots fans again with billboard outside Gillette Stadium

twitter_eagles_pats_billboard.jpg
@GinaMarie0125 on Twitter

Eagles fans troll Patriots fans again with billboard outside Gillette Stadium

The Eagles swear they've moved on from Super Bowl LII, but fans? Yeah, that's never going to happen.

With the Super Bowl rematch just two days away and the Birds heading up to Foxboro, Massachusetts, Eagles fans are making sure the Patriots and their fans remember who won the Super Bowl just a few months ago.

Gina Lewis, a Massachusetts-based Birds fan, erected a billboard at the intersection of Route 1 and North Street, which is about one mile outside of Gillette Stadium.

So folks driving to Gillette Stadium from Boston, and even up from Philly, will see the billboard as they head to the Eagles-Patriots preseason game Thursday.

In terms of billboards, it's not exactly the prettiest. The idea was fantastic, but the execution could have been better. The notion that Patriots fans will have to be reminded that the Eagles beat New England, 41-33, in Super Bowl LII is brilliant.

That's not a knock on the person who designed the billboard, though. Jordan Spector is a Philadelphia-based artist who designed the billboard.

The original text on the billboard was supposed to be: "No one likes us and we don’t care." But the billboard company forced them to change it.

To be fair to Spector, the actual design of the billboard is crisper than the one that went up. You can support Spector's work (you should because art is fun) here.

Some background as to how the billboard came to be a thing. Back in June, Lewis tweeted this:

It doesn't appear the coworker came through on his promise, but that doesn't really matter. Lewis started a GoFundMe, which remains active, to raise the $5,000 to pay for the billboard.

After it reached its goal, the GoFundMe remains active and the next $5,000 will be donated to Carson Wentz's AO1 Foundation. At the time of this posting, it's raised $6,530 out of its $10,000 goal.

If you're obliged to donate, you can here.

More on the Eagles