The700Level

The700Level

The Philadelphia City Council passed a resolution Thursday honoring the great and humble mascot of the Flyers' hockey team.

What exactly does this resolution mean? We don't really know and probably not much but it is a glorious piece of writing by Councilmember At-Large Helen Gym.

Ms. Gym was quite excited to introduce the resolution before the Council today as demonstrated by her expert use of gif:

The resolution begins:

Welcoming Gritty, the new mascot of the Philadelphia Flyers, and honoring the spirit and passion that Gritty has brought to the City of Philadelphia and to the entire country, both on and off the ice.

And includes gems such as:

WHEREAS, Gritty has been described as a 7-foot tall orange hellion, a fuzzy eldritch horror, a ghastly empty-eyed Muppet with a Delco beard, a cross of Snuffleupagus and Oscar the Grouch, a deranged orange lunatic, an acid trip of a mascot, a shaggy orange Wookiee-esque grotesquerie, a non-binary leftist icon, an orange menace, a raging id, and an antihero. He has been characterized as huggable but also potentially insurrectionary, ridiculous, horrifying, unsettling, and absurd; and

 

And the kicker really brings it home:

WHEREAS, Gritty may be a hideous monster, but he is our hideous monster; now, therefore, be it

RESOLVED, That the Council of the City of Philadelphia welcomes Gritty, the new mascot of the Philadelphia Flyers, and honors the spirit and passion that Gritty has brought to the City of Philadelphia and to the entire country, both on and off the ice.

God bless the city of Philadelphia and God bless Gritty.

The entire resolution can be read here. You can watch the vote below. As you can see, one council person opposed, simply stating, "He ugly."

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