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Sixers’ new grey uniforms are perfect for sweatpants capital of the world

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Sixers

Sixers’ new grey uniforms are perfect for sweatpants capital of the world

The Sixers channeled everyone in Philadelphia’s inner hypebeast by unveiling their new alternate uniforms for the 2018-19 season last week. Did I like the uniforms when they slowly began to leak before the official reveal? No. They didn’t look great in any computerized renderings. They just seemed boring without the same clean simplicity that last season’s “Parchment” City Edition uniforms had. The jerseys felt like a letdown. 

Forget the leaks. Forget the digital mockups. Look at those threads on Joel Embiid, Ben Simmons and Dario Saric. The heather grey just pops when you see them on actual players and not some weird online mannequin. It looks like the Sixers are going to be draped in athleisure wear on the court. If you don’t like them, you’re missing a crucial aspect of what truly makes Philly the city that it is.

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📍 The Victor Cafe

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Philadelphia is literally the nation’s top per capita consumer of sweatpants. My friend Greg (Massachusetts native and fan of the Patriots, who, people often forget, lost to the Eagles in Super Bowl LII) once came to one of my dad’s Eagles tailgates while I was in college. The next day he said, “I’ve never seen so many grown men in sweatpants and Air Maxes in my life.” 

He’s right! I didn’t realize it wasn’t “normal” for adult men to not wear sweatpants all the time until I moved into my freshman dorm and everyone else’s dad was wearing button-down shirts tucked into jeans like Danny Tanner. What would be better for Philly’s large adult sons than to wear uniforms that look like sweatsuits taken right from 9th and Wolf? Let the Sixers be comfortable. Let them take the court swagged out with the DGAF attitude that comes with unnecessarily wearing sweatpants at every given opportunity. Let them look like a 46-year old man from Port Richmond who believes he can shoot free throws better than Markelle Fultz. 

Give me those shorts with the Rocky-influenced title belt going around the waist. I will wear them every night to bed until I die. I will roll out of my bed on Christmas morning in this full uniform set, put on my Eagles Super Bowl Champions hat (I put it on every day) and watch basketball on my couch for 15 hours. I will watch the Sixers beat the Celtics, who are the most annoying basketball team in the universe, and I will feel more comfortable than I ever have previously in my life. 

And for those people who don’t like that this uniform set pays homage to the Rocky franchise, I would say they’re also just full of themselves. Philadelphia, for better or worse, will always be Rocky, cheesesteaks and soft pretzels (and now sweatpants). Rocky Balboa, who I definitely thought was a real person until I was, like, 11 years old, is just part of Philadelphia’s lore. That will never change. 

If you asked some random 35-year-old dude from Big Arm, Montana, if he knows what Philly looks like, he probably does just from the training montages in the original Rocky and Rocky II. And what does Rocky, who everyone under the age of 12 from South Philly believes actually exists, wear in the most iconic shots of our glorious city? 

Grey sweatpants.

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A mascot's guide to quarantine

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USA Today Images

A mascot's guide to quarantine

Yes, we’re missing our nightly puck drops, tip-offs and first pitches. But, don’t forget our beloved mascots of Brotherly Love also affected by the pause in the sports world.

As we do our best to pass the time, let’s look back at Gritty, Franklin and the Phillie Phanatic’s Instagram feeds for isolation inspiration.

*Swoop, we love you — we just have ways away before kickoff. Plus, you also don’t have an Instagram.

Have a photoshoot

Franklin ‘Fit Check

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Spotted: 2 Legends 👀

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Put that self-timer on your phone to good use.

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100% that Grit. #Grizzo

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Just be mindful of what you decide to post.

 

Have a dance party

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*whispers* Wham!

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Dance like nobody’s watching. 

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A little Kid, a little Play 😋

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As much as we love a properly executed Kid ‘n Play, maybe pass on the dance duets. Or maybe take a page out of Matisse Thybulle’s book, Franklin.

 

Chat with your Pet

They don’t require toilet paper and are pretty good listeners.

 

Read a Book (Or Two)

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I just like to read the pictures

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Follow along with Tobias Harris, if you’re feeling up for it.

 

Design a tattoo

Perhaps modeled after some of our furry mascot friends?

 

At Home Makeover

Try out a new look or two for your post-isolation debut.

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Brotherly. Love.

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Hopefully, you’re friends will be supportive, too.

 

Meditate

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Yes, this is how I watch road games. #PhilaUnite

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Find your zen.

 

Maintain Proper Hygiene

We would not recommend hiding in a trashcan during this time.

 

Practice Social Distancing

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Cartwheelin’ into the weekend 🙌

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No.

Nope.

A+ for content, F for social distancing.

Clearly, they need to work on that — but hopefully now you have some ideas to fill the days.

Stay safe out there, folks.

Pick some PPA violations and we'll tell you which Philly athlete you are

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NBC Sports Philadelphia

Pick some PPA violations and we'll tell you which Philly athlete you are

Is there anything more Philly than a Philadelphia Parking Authority violation? 

There is no greater sadness than walking out to your car, spotting that slim white and blue envelope on the front window from the distance, and just knowing it signifies: they got you. 

To those of us whom have fought this long battle, we salute you. While the PPA may have temporarily suspended some of their violations, we know it's only a matter of time before they emerge back and stronger than ever.

So, we've decided to create this handy little quiz for you to determine your Philly athelete personality, depending on the type of violation you will likely recieve next.