Thank you for joining us for The 700 Level’s fifth-annual, almost-didn’t-happen-this-time Philadelphia Sports Awards. If you’re wondering why you don’t recall reading or hearing about any of our first four outings, that’s because we’ve rebranded for 2018, moving away from “The KULPYs” due to the writer’s lack of marketability or relevance. Pretty sure that guy is covering the food scene somewhere over in the Middle East these days.
In other words: New title, slightly different format, same shtick. Now that we’ve suckered you in, let’s get down to business.
It’s been a big year for the Eagles, as you might imagine.
Philadelphia Athlete of the Year: Carson Wentz
Runner-up: Joel Embiid
Prior to suffering a torn ACL, Wentz was enjoying an MVP-caliber season. He set an Eagles franchise record with 33 touchdown passes — and needed only 13 games to do it. And while the team managed to win the Super Bowl without him, Wentz helped secure home-field for the playoffs with an 11-2 record as a starter. He was the most consistently dominant athlete in the city over the past year.
Comeback Athlete of the Year: Nick Foles
Runner-up: Claude Giroux
Let’s make sure Foles gets his due, though. Pretty much everybody left his career for dead after an ugly stint with the Rams, and even as late as the second quarter of the divisional playoff game against the Falcons, few believed he would ever catch lighting in a bottle again. Sure enough, Foles regained his 2013 form just in time to post one of the most incredible postseason runs in NFL history, completing 72.5 percent of his passes for 860 yards and six touchdowns to one interception over his last 10 quarters of action. Unlike ’13, we’re pretty sure this isn’t a fluke — he has the ring to prove it.
Rookie of the Year: Rhys Hoskins
Runner-up: Ben Simmons
What’s the KULPYs without a little controversy? Simmons seems like the obvious choice, but his unwillingness or inability to shoot the basketball caused him to get exposed in the end. Then there’s the whole debate over whether he’s even truly a rookie or not after missing his first year with an injury. Hoskins hasn’t lit the world on fire in 2018, though he’s still hit 32 home runs in his first 586 plate appearances, with a supporting cast that isn’t making things any easier. We'll operate under All-Star Game rules and select Hoskins on the basis the Phillies need a little representation here.
The Andrew Bynum Award for Most Disliked Sports Figure: Robert Covington
Runner-up: Gabe Kapler
Covington signed a four-year contract worth $62 million in November, then fell out of favor with fans almost immediately. He began the ’17-18 season with a hot shooting hand, but cooled off and became extremely streaky from beyond the arc. What’s worse, RoCo’s defensive effort seemed inconsistent at times, as well, which he could always hang his hat on previously when the offense wasn’t there. Now, there’s no question a good portion of fans would like to see him moved, though the reality is the Sixers might be stuck with that contract for a while.
The Chip Kelly Award for Most Nonsensical Scandal: Bryan Colangelo
Runner-up: Markelle Fultz
Take your pick from a host of Sixers screw-ups. From Embiid constantly feuding with management over playing time, to trading hometown hero Mikal Bridges during his introductory press conference, it’s certainly been an interesting year. Yet, Colangelo’s wife’s numerous Twitter burner accounts releasing sensitive information and defending the former GM’s choice in shirt collars was the most bizarre thing to happen in Philly sports in the last 12 months, probably longer. By the way, the Sixers are still seeking Colangelo’s replacement, which means the repercussions of this stupidity are still being felt.
Dumbest Philly Sports Take: Mike Lombardi
Runner-up: Colin Cowherd
If Lombardi had merely insinuated Doug Pederson may not have been the greatest choice to lead the Eagles, few would’ve strongly disagreed with that statement a year ago. But even at the time, after Pederson won seven games as a rookie head coach, claiming he was “the most unqualified coach” in NFL history was over the top. Few hot takes have ever aged so poorly so quickly, with Pederson leading the Eagles to the Super Bowl. The truly ironic part is Lombardi is a failed NFL executive and out of the league — maybe he should’ve realized he isn’t necessarily the greatest judge of talent.
The Competency Award for Best Coach or Executive: Sam Hinkie
Runners-up: Doug Pederson, Howie Roseman
What would the KULPYs be without some good ol’ fashioned trolling? Obviously, Pederson, Roseman or even Jay Wright are all worthy choices here. Then again, after watching the Sixers win 52 games and coast to the second round of the playoffs with a coach (Brett Brown) and core (Embiid, Simmons, Dario Saric) Hinkie put in place, the former GM’s sacrifice deserves remembrance. Maybe the day will come when we can leave Hinkie in the past. Then again, if there were any justice in the world, the Sixers would probably rehire him to take Colangelo’s place right now.
Philadelphian of the Year/Lifetime Achievement Award: Jason Kelce
Runners-up: Not applicable
There wasn’t even a close second. Kelce’s profanity-laced speech at the Eagles victory parade was the single greatest moment a lot of people from this area will ever witness in their lives. More than that, it cemented Kelce as not only one of the legendary players in Philly history. It demonstrated he's one of us to the core. Ranting and raving? Check. Gratuitous swearing? Check. Visible intoxication? Check, check, check.
That’s all we have. Sorry, Flyers, better luck next year.