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Dispatches from the Beer Line: A fan’s view of NY Red Bulls

New York Red Bulls vs Seattle Sounders

This if from Red Bulls backer Arjan Roghanchi, his slightly unorthodox New York player ratings through MLS Round 2. Enjoy a fan’s take on things:

By Arjan Roghanchi

Rating players on a 1-10 scale, decimals included, means 100 possible ratings for each player each match. I like a slightly different approach: one word. Please enjoy, and consider using these as SAT analogy prep.

Ryan Meara: Wunderkind – Slightly dodgy on a clearance or two, but otherwise very happy with his game. Shep Messing thinks he is a dead ringer for Larry Bird.

Jan Gunnar Solli: Distressing –Terrible outing against Dallas, but better at RSL. Maybe more effective in a purely midfield role?

Markus Holgersson: Lost – No confidence, no vision, seems totally out of his element.

Stephen Keel : Solid – Vincent Kompany he is not. But Keel has been disciplined in his positioning, reliable (if conservative) in his distribution, and peerless in his hustle.

Roy Miller: Defcon 1 – It’s not getting any better for Roy. Massive liability.

Joel Lindpere: Disinterested? – Sounded like he wanted out this offseason, and he has re-dedicated himself to the Estonian national squad. Through two games he has been ineffective.

Teemu Tainio: Alliterative – When on the pitch he provides stability, quality distribution, and rough and tumble defensive work. Made some great runs at RSL, with no reward. I think he is a winner, but could be overworked.

Dax McCarty: Industrious – As with Keel, Dax will never be Ryan Giggs. But his hustle is unimpeachable and he is capable of making good runs and playing good passes.

Dane Richards: Delayed – The pace merchant consistently waits a beat too long to make a decision and promising moves wither away. Does well to move defenders. If he can’t start playing balls in sooner, it’s all for naught.

Victor Palsson: Lost – See Holgersson, Markus.

Mehdi Ballouchy: Efficient – Has done well in two appearances as a sub, maximizing his impact-to-minutes ratio. Red Bull supporters love to hate the Morrocan international, but his performance off the bench has been good.

Juan Agudelo: Incomplete – Juan is a victim of the hype machine in a country desperate to find the Great American Striker. He will miss a huge chunk of the season with Olympic duty. That may help his transfer prospects but will do little for the Red Bulls.

Kenny Cooper: Motivated – Cooper has the lone goal of the 2012 campaign and he has proven he can be a goal-scorer in this league. Something more to prove in his first appearance in the white and red at RBA on Sunday?

Thierry Henry: Coiled – My favorite thing about Titi’s London loan spell: all those things which are viewed by supporters here as problems, as evidence of Thierry’s disdain for the league and it’s players, were on display at Arsenal.

The bottom line: Supporters groups are calling for Hans Backe’s head on a platter loaded with the Portuguese grilled meats widely available in and around RBA. But losing two games away to quality opponents does not a catastrophe make. After all, the Red Bulls have been known to get a result when Backe’d into a corner.