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Teddy Sheringham injures Gordon Ramsey in charity match

Soccer Aid 2012

MANCHESTER, UNITED KINGDOM - MAY 27: Will Ferrell attends The Soccer aid foorball match in aid of UNICEF at Old Trafford at Old Trafford on May 27, 2012 in Manchester, England. (Photo by Nathan Cox/Getty Images)

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Teddy Sheringham is a jerk.

I know that will upset some people – and that’s too bad. Maybe he wasn’t always a jerk, but he certainly channeled his inner caveman hardass spirit for one afternoon, turning a charity soccer match into a trip to the hospital for celebrity chef Gordon Ramsay.

So you tell me: How does a seasoned, longtime former professional with 51 caps for England not recognize the difference between a hard-charging London derby involving highly athletic pros and a happy-go-lucky charity match involving movie stars and others who never played the game at a high level?

Sheringham bundled into Ramsay in a challenge so clumsy – and apparently full of menace; even the announcer says Shearingham “targeted” Ramsay – that the celebrity TV chef was ambulanced off to the hospital.

As if creaming the guy from behind wasn’t enough, Sheringham then decided the gentlemanly thing to do would be give Ramsay a couple of playful slaps across the face, and then rub his hand over Ramsay’s nose, the way I used to rub my hand across my dog’s face as a kid, when I was being a little turd, because I knew it irritated the little mutt.

Among the game’s great participating were Hernan Crespo, Roy Keane, Clarence Seedorf, Jaap Stam, Edwin Van Der Sar and Freddie Ljungberg – most of whom managed to see out the afternoon without sending someone to the hospital.

American funnyman Will Ferrell (pictured) was also injured during the match, although not seriously.

You may defend Sheringham … but you may want to watch this first.