DMV of Thrones: 27 local sports figures and their Game of Thrones character
DMV of Thrones: 27 local sports figures and their Game of Thrones character
HBO's "Game of Thrones" returns for its final season on Sunday, April 14, and that got us thinking: who are the DMV's Game of Thrones characters? Here's a list of 27 local sports figures and who they would be in the world of Game of Thrones. (Picture Credit: All Game of Thrones pictures from HBO.com)
Alex Ovechkin - Daenerys Targaryen
Nobody quite knew what to expect from Daenerys at first, but then it quickly became clear she was born to rule and take over Westeros. No one is ever sure what they are getting from Russian players, but Alex Ovechkin racked up regular season glory and individual awards as easily as Daenerys blew threw cities in
Slaver's Bay of Dragons. Ovechkin, after several seasons of patience, finally got out of the second round and won the Stanley Cup. Daenerys is hoping to do the same now that she's finally in Westeros.
Bradley Beal - Arya Stark
For the first several seasons of the show, Arya kept getting beaten down by her enemies. You could tell she had potential and was meant for something bigger...and then she'd get knocked on her butt again. Bradley Beal dealt with new injuries every season, falling tantalizingly short of reach his potential.
Now, finally, Arya is among the most dangerous assassins in the Seven Kingdoms. Bradley Beal is his own kind of killer on the court, and has proven himself one of the most dangerous shooters in the NBA.
Juan Soto - Jon Snow
First of all, their initials are the same (coming with the caveat that Jon’s real name is Aegon Targaryen, but he doesn’t know that yet).
Secondly, they are both extremely accomplished at very young ages. Soto set countless records for teenage hitters during a jaw-dropping age-19 season in 2018. Jon rose through the ranks of the Night’s Watch to earn the title of Lord Commander quickly as well, becoming the fifth-youngest of the 998 Lord Commanders in the Watch’s history.
Many thought Stannis was the Prince Who Was Promised, but they were wrong. Now it looks like that honor belongs to Jon.
Many thought Bryce Harper was the savior of D.C. baseball, but now it looks like that honor belongs to Soto.
Derrius Guice - Lyanna Mormont
Lyanna’s fan support-to-screen time ratio is off the charts. If she dies in season 8, fans will riot in the streets.
Guice hasn’t had the chance to prove himself on the field yet, thanks to a brutal injury. Still, he’s managed to endear himself to Redskins fans everywhere, and is one of the most popular players on the team despite a lack of opportunity. Like Lyanna, he offers hope for the future of the team/realm.
Katie Ledecky - Yara Greyjoy
Yara Greyjoy doesn't look like much, but it doesn't take long to realize she's a total badass, especially when she gets on the water. Her father may have been the king of the Iron Islands, but Yara was the one who dominated. Sure, people were more excited about Michael Phelps during the Olympics, but it's Katie Ledecky who dominates on water.
Trent Williams - Brienne of Tarth
A physically imposing figure, Brienne is always pledging her service to protect someone smaller than herself. It doesn't matter who's under center for the Redskins, Trent Williams is going to do everything he can to protect him.
Brooks Orpik - Sir Jorah Mormont
It's hard for Caps fans to cheer for anyone who used to play for Pittsburgh, just as it was hard for Daenerys to welcome back Sir Jorah Mormont after he had betrayed her. Yet, the grizzled veteran with numerous battle scars has proven useful for his leadership as well as his skills.
Orpik hasn't let his age negate his effectiveness when on the ice, and Jorah didn't let greyscale get in the way of helping Dany return to Westeros. Orpik was able to get the Capitals to the mountaintop; Can Jorah do the same for his Queen?
John Wall - Bran Stark
Bran was the first character George R. R. Martin developed when he first conceived of A Song of Ice and Fire, and Wall was the first member of the Wizards’ new core when he was drafted nearly a decade ago.
Devastating injuries have sidelined Wall, though none quite as serious as Bran’s fall. But neither Wall nor Bran have let their spirits break, and despite their physical limitations, both are poised to play major roles in the coming seasons of their respective career/show.
Brian MacLellan - Ser Davos Seaworth
Loyal servant to his king, Stannis Baratheon, Sir Davos Seaworth was always a cunning advisor. Now with Stannis gone, Davos is left trying to hold everything together. The thing is, he may actually be smarter than his predecessor. The Caps were a powerhouse with some notable weaknesses when Brian MacLellan took over as general manager, but he was quickly able to put his stamp on the team and make it better. Now, they have a Stanley Cup. Can Davos bring something similar for Jon?
Josh Norman - Jaqen H’ghar
H’ghar is one of the most dangerous assassins in the known world, shutting down lives left and right. Norman shuts down pass plays when he locks up receivers on one half of the field.
Furthermore, H’ghar is a Faceless Man, which means he wears the faces of other men and women. As a way to prepare himself mentally, Norman is famous for pretending to be a different movie character for every game. Acting is just the same as wearing another man’s face, right?
Max Scherzer - Robb Stark
Before everyone starts yelling, yes, we know Robb died.
But before the Red Wedding, the Young Wolf was a legitimate star. Despite going up against seasoned warriors in Tywin Lannister, The Mountain and others, Robb never lost a single battle.
He was competitive, tough, brilliant and was able to see three moves ahead, like Scherzer working an at-bat. He was the ace of the Northern army, and it’s a shame he was betrayed by his own bannermen.
Brandon Scherff - The Hound, Sandor Clegane
Scherff is big and strong, so the Hound is a natural fit. Sandor Clegane has no problem doing the dirty work whenever it’s asked of him, and as a guard in the trenches on every play, Scherff is more than familiar with dirty work as well.
The Hound, while big and scary in presence, is a protector at heart, whether it’s Joffrey, Sansa, or Arya. Scherff's main priority is protection, too.
Either one is somebody you’d be happy to have on your side when fighting White Walkers.
Tress Way - Tyrion Lannister
As a dwarf, Tyrion gets no respect across Westeros. It doesn’t matter that he’s one of the sharpest, funniest, most accomplished men in all the realm.
Tress Way is a punter, and because of it, also receives less respect than he’s earned with his play on the field. Way is certainly a better athlete than Tyrion, but punters are, on average, smaller than many of their teammates.
Still, punters are people, too. Way is one of the leaders in the locker room, and remains one of the funniest, smartest, most self-aware players in the league, even if most fans would rather talk about the team’s quarterback.
Braden Holtby - The Wall
The Wall is essentially a character of its own, given its infamy around the known world. It’s protected the men of Westeros from outside threats for millenia, much like Holtby protects the Capitals' net from would-be goal scorers.
Tom Wilson - Tormund Giantsbane
Obviously, both Wilson and Tormund are big, strong men who are more than happy to jump into any fight and beat up their opponents. Tormund is from beyond the Wall, which is the Westerosi version of Canada, Wilson’s homeland.
They also have a lot of personality to go with their strong personas, and are able to provide leadership to their teammates in addition to the fear they instill in their enemies.
Jonathan Papelbon - Theon Greyjoy
Theon Greyjoy was from another family and was welcomed into a new home. How did he repay that hospitality? By betraying everyone who trusted him. Jonathan Papelbon was brought in to be the closer and decided it would be a good idea to choke the best player on the team (at the time) in Bryce Harper. No one in Washington, or Winterfell for that matter, ever trusted him again.
Sidney Crosby - Joffrey Baratheon
Sidney represents the Penguins, the sworn enemy of the Capitals. He has been the biggest catalyst behind their success, and is the reason they have won the Stanley Cup more often than the Capitals.
Joffrey is the petulant child king who beheads Ned Stark, leading to civil war. He’s the leading face of House Lannister, enemy of the beloved Starks, even though by name he’s a Baratheon.
He was the defining villain during the show’s first few seasons, similar to Crosby during the first half of Ovechkin’s career.
And much like fans cheered when he died, Caps supporters will be happy to see Crosby retire.
Adrian Peterson - Ser Barristan Selmy
Selmy is one of the most naturally-gifted swordsmen in living memory. Peterson is one of the most naturally-talented running backs ever.
Even as they’ve aged, both have barely lost a step. Selmy was still able to cut down any opponent, and Peterson rushed for over 1,000 yards with the Redskins in 2018.
Eventually, the Sons of the Harpy were able to take down Ser Barristan, but it took a large group surrounding him, much like it takes several tacklers to team up to bring down AP.
Evgeny Kuznetsov - Oberyn Martell
Prince Oberyn is one of the most famed fighters in all of Westeros, and Kuznetsov is of of the most talented centers in hockey. Both came from foreign lands (Dorne is technically part of the Seven Kingdoms, but is separate in both geography and culture), and both are quite funny and full of quips.
Both are also known for their celebrations. Thankfully, when Kuznetsov celebrates a victory, it comes after a goal, and not while the Mountain is still alive and within reach.
Mike Rizzo - Lord Varys
Varys is one of the smartest characters on the show. Petyr Baelish was considered the ultimate plotter, but "The Spider" outlasted him thanks to seeing the big picture. Varys always had his eye on the ultimate prize, even as everyone else worried about the popular narrative.
All offseason fans worried about Bryce Harper, but Rizzo knew he had a couple of young prodigies ready to take his place in the outfield. While everyone else worried about the Lannisters and the Starks, Varys stayed focused on the young Daenerys Targaryen over in Essos, biding her time until the opportunity arose.
Mike Elias - Samwell Tarly
Elias has always been smart, as evidenced by his playing days at Yale. Tarly has always been smart, thanks to his love of reading and lack of swordplay.
Much like Sam isn’t much of a fighter, Elias wasn’t much of a pitcher. He learned early on that his future would be behind the scenes. He spent some time studying under Maester Aemon at the Wall and then at the Citadel, much like Elias spent time with Jeff Luhnow in Houston and St. Louis.
Now he’s ready to take what he’s learned to help turn around the Orioles, while Sam is hoping to use his smarts to save humanity against the evil from the North. Am I saying the Red Sox and Yankees are basically White Walkers? Yes, yes I am.
Lamar Jackson - Gendry
Gendry is the bastard of King Robert Baratheon and will never be taken as seriously as other sons of lords because of it. As a run-first quarterback with accuracy issues, Jackson will never be considered in the same way as others at his position.
Much like Gendry could end up being a key player in the great war to come, Jackson will play a key role in the Ravens’ immediate future.
Jackson is one of the fastest quarterbacks in NFL history. Gendry ran several miles in the snow to save a group of our heroes stuck beyond the Wall. Both guys have some serious wheels.
Robert Griffin III - Jaime Lannister
Jaime Lannister was the best fighter in Westeros...until someone cut off his right hand. Then you figured he would be pretty much useless, but he trained to be a strong fighter with his left hand and continues to surprise.
RGIII was the most promising young quarterback in football, and then he had his own injuries to deal with. He never got back to his old level, but he’s worked hard to learn how to play with a different style.
After many years playing in the South, he has now moved North, where he will be playing a backup role with the Ravens. So will Jaime with the Starks in Winterfell.
Jerry Jones - Cersei Lannister
Cersei is an iconic villain, like the Cowboys owner. The real threats may be to the North, in the form of White Walkers and/or the Eagles. But the Southern villains get most of the publicity.
Both Cersei and Jones are filthy rich and have used their means to bother our heroes for years. Other villains have come and gone, but Cersei has survived until the final season, just like Jones has stayed a strong villainous presence in the lives of Redskins fans for many seasons.
Chris Davis - Khal Drogo
At one point in time, many years ago, both these men were considered to be the strongest in all the land. Davis showed off his prodigious power with towering home runs. Drogo used his to rise to the leader of the strongest khalasar in all of the great Dothraki grass sea.
Drogo’s weapon of choice? An arakh. Davis’? A wooden bat. Both were equally dangerous once, and both lost their strength quickly and without warning.
Dwight Howard - The Mountain, Gregor Clegane
The Mountain, also known as Gregor Clegane, is a gigantic human being. And even at his immense size and strength, he's faster than you would expect. If he lived in the modern world, he would be a lottery pick thanks to his measurables.
Howard is, of course, a physical freak, and one of the most athletic humans on earth. And, like Clegane Bowl, we are still waiting for him to make his impact with the Wizards.
Bryce Harper - The Night King
Harper was once a member of the Washington Nationals, and was a favorite of many. The Night King, while we don’t know his name, was formerly a member of House Stark. Now, they’ve both headed North from their original houses, and both are the biggest villains in their respective hometowns.
In his new home, the Night King is able to raise an army of the dead, much like Harper was able to bring life to a once-dead fanbase.