While starring for the Redskins from 2004-2010, Clinton Portis was a beloved player renowned for his toughness on the field and humor off of it.
But a Sports Illustrated story published Wednesday shows how different the post-football Portis was from the one who made a name for himself in the Burgundy and Gold.
After retiring from the NFL, Portis ran into severe money trouble when he trusted his money with people he wishes he hadn't, according to SI's Brian Burnsed. The running back filed for bankruptcy in 2015, and the financial issues he encountered pushed him to the brink of committing a serious crime.
"On a handful of late nights and early mornings in 2013 he lurked in his car near a Washington, D.C.–area office building, pistol at his side, and waited for one of several men who had managed a large chunk of the $43.1 million he earned with his 2,230 carries over nine NFL seasons," Burnsed writes.
“It wasn’t no beat up,” Portis told the writer. “It was kill.”
He never did follow through on the revenge he wanted, thanks in large part to a friend and therapist who forced him to consider how killing someone would affect his family and all he had worked for in his life. If he had found the person he was targeting, however, he's honest about what would've happened.
“We’d probably be doing this interview from prison,” Portis, who stopped participating in the story after two interviews, said.
Another notable part from the story is that the 35-year-old is experiencing memory lapses and often gets lost while driving, but is afraid to be tested because he's "really scared" of what those tests would find. Overall, though, Portis is in a better place now than he was a few years ago.
"Life is so much clearer after coming out of that storm," he said.