BY PETER HAILEY
Is it just me, or did the 167 and a half hours in between the conclusion of last week's "DeSean Jackson: Home Team" and the beginning of this week's second episode drag on like nobody's business?
Ever since the cliffhanger that ended last Tuesday's episode, the show's fans have been left to twiddle their thumbs and wonder what is going to happen to our favorite Redskins receiver. Tonight, thankfully, we got a few answers.
To recap all that went down in another 30 riveting minutes of reality television, we're going to answer the eight questions that everyone's asking after episode two of "Home Team." Like last weeks' review, these should help you further understand everything that occurred, and if you were crazy enough to not be in front of the T.V. from 8:30-9 (that's absolutely inexcusable and should never happen again, by the way) they'll help you catch up. Let's get going.
---WARNING: SPOILERS AHEAD---
1) Did DeSean finally tell his mom that his girlfriend Kayla is pregnant?
Sure, the shots of DeSean working out and hanging out with his friends were fun, but all episode long, everyone who tuned in were waiting for one thing, and one thing only: The time when DeSean finally tells his mom that his girlfriend of six months is pregnant. And with the episode coming to a close, it looked like the show's audience would have to wait another week before the secret was revealed. But with just seconds left on the clock, DeSean finally let the cat out of the bag.
Right before the final credits, the Redskins receiver invited his mom Gayle over for a one-on-one dinner. The scene was a tense one -- Gayle kept making references to living with kids, which caused DeSean to grow "more nervous by the second" and wonder whether she already knew. Those comments were just a coincidence, though, so Jackson had break the news himself.
"I've been trying to figure out how to tell you [this]," he said. "I need to be a man about this situation. How would you feel if I told you that Kayla's pregnant?"
So how did Gayle react? Well, that's this week's cliffhanger. Aside from a two second long death stare from Mrs. Jackson, we are unsure how she feels about her son having a child. And we thought the wait for this week's episode was long. How are we going to last until next Tuesday?
2) Did he talk about what he wants his child to do when they grow up?
He sure did. Jackson was talking to a bunch of his friends early on in the thirty minute show and said, "If it's a boy, he's going to the league." Notice to all parents planning to help their future kids become NFL cornerbacks: choose a different profession, because DeSean Jackson II will make your kids hate their job.
3) Any update on whether DeSean likes doing household chores?
In "Home Team's" debut, DeSean's distaste for household chores was very evident. But this week, #11 did a complete 180 in regards to doing things around the home.
The three-time Pro-Bowler made his mom a tremendous meal ahead of the big reveal, and was even shown washing dishes at one point. It was a truly shocking twist, and man, that salad looked good.
4) Do information leaks contaminate his off the field life as much as they affect his on the field life?
It would certainly seem so, which is unfortunate for Jackson. Playing for the Redskins means that he is constantly surrounded by locker room leaks that create turmoil in the locker room and make everyone's life harder. And as it turns out, leaks rear their ugly head in Jackson's personal life as well.
In the middle of the show, Jackson wanted to go to a bowling alley and knock down a few pins with his friends. That's it. Just some good ol' fashioned fun. But, because of course this happens, a leak ruined the trip: Someone tipped off the paparazzi, who ended up infiltrating DeSean's hang out and put him in a bad mood with their nosiness for the rest of the day.
"I hate paparazzi," DeSean said, seething. "They need to stay out of my space."
Not far. Jackson actually gets his hair handled in his own living room. An easy commute for a player who lives in D.C. for much of the year.
6) Did DeSean do anything this week that would scare Redskins fans like he did last week?
Cranky Redskins fans who think DeSean should just sit in a quiet room and watch episodes of "Grey's Anatomy" all offseason, you're in luck; this episode contained far less dangerous activities for the team's number one offensive weapon than last Tuesday's premiere.
The only thing that DeSean did that was remotely nerve wracking was perform a few backflips in his backyard pool. He nailed them both, though, and when you compare them to his driving sports cars at high speeds and drinking straight from the bottle at a club shenanigans that we saw last week, they don't look so bad.
7) Speaking of the club, how much does DeSean spend in an average night while out on the town?
His sister A'Dreea took Jackson aside to discuss his finances in one scene, and wasn't too pleased with how much money DeSean dropped during his club outings. She mentioned two instances, in which the receiver spent $2,000 and $5,000, and cautioned him to slow down.
She then asked him what he buys for that much money, and his response was simple. "Alcohol," said DeSean. "I'm in the offseason, I'm gonna enjoy it."
8) Could a normal, non-NFL athlete hang with Jackson during one of his offseason workouts?
Nope. No chance, in fact. DeSean took a few of his buddies with him to run hills with him under the hot California sun, and the results weren't pretty. DeSean easily outpaced his crew, and one of his pals took about three steps up the steep slope before dropping to his knees and vomiting. It didn't look very fun.
What will Gayle say about DeSean's baby news? Will we finally get our first extended look at Kayla? And will the paparazzi screw up another fun trip for the 28-year-old? Join us in the same place next week as we review the third episode of "Home Team." Until then, we'll be eagerly awaiting next Tuesday.