It's a cloudy Monday morning in Chicago. Summer has never felt farther away. The Cubs are about to play in Game 163, which is always a BLAST and surely will not provide the North Side with their next ulcer. Lauri Markanen is out for six to eight weeks.
LUCKILY, NONE OF THAT MATTERS BECAUSE THE BEARS WON BY 38 POINTS AND MITCH TRUBISKY IS THE NEW AARON RODGERS. Or something like that.
Twitter is oftentimes Very Bad, but on occasion -- rare, rare occasion -- Twitter can be Very Good. For instance, when you win a football game by 38 points and your franchise QB shows signs of life.
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The Bears win on Sunday started like they all do, with a quick first scoring drive and some strong defense:
All of a sudden there was a bizarre, warm glow in the hearts of Bears fans everywhere. Optimism??
So much optimism:
Then Akiem Hicks' sack ignited a frenzy:
Then, it happened. Instead of falling into the usual sloppy-play-but-thanks-Khalil-for-saving-us routine, the Bears continued being terrific. There was a DIME to Allen Robinson:
There was a succesful use of hard counts:
There were Borat GIFs:
And now, Khalil Mack Appreciation Minute:
But the story of the day was the touchdowns. There were so many touchdowns:
So many touchdowns:
So many touchdowns, in fact, that history was kinda made:
I mean, it was such a good win - people we're getting COCKY:
Here's to the Bears winning every game in historic, blowout fashion. For the Tweets.