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How Mets pitcher Noah Syndergaard pulled off the perfect crime

How Mets pitcher Noah Syndergaard pulled off the perfect crime

There was a theft at Citizens Bank Park on Monday night. 

If the FBI gets called in to retrieve Tom Brady's shirt, this seems to be a much more serious matter. Mets pitcher (and criminal) Noah Syndergaard picked a perfect spot before pulling off the heist of the century. 

We'll break down the theft frame by frame: 

It looks like Syndergaard's teammate Curtis Granderson is his accomplice in this crime. Granderson is stretching pregame and the Phillie Phanatic noticed his irregular form and decided to help. 

While the Phanatic is distracted by Granderson, Syndergaard is ready to strike. 

The Phanatic is completely consumed with helping straighten out Granderson's form. Just look at that focus. 

By the time the Phanatic turns to realize what's happening, it's too late. The Phanatic is a skilled stretcher, but simply doesn't have the catch-up speed to chase down his ATV as Syndergaard speeds away. 

Eventually, Syndergaard puts too much space between him and the Phanatic as he speeds away. Unfortunately, our friend from the Galapagos can't stay upright in pursuit. 

Syndergaard is still at large. The Philadelphia Police are on the case, we assume. 

Joel Embiid expects 90 percent of his tweets to go viral

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Joel Embiid expects 90 percent of his tweets to go viral

One of the things that I love about Joel Embiid is the fact that it seems like every day we find another reason to love him even more.

Today's entry comes from a profile in GQ magazine in which he talks about plenty of things. But it was one of the first things he was asked about his Twitter account that had me rolling once again.

How do you find out if one of [your tweet] has gone viral, then?

Joel: I think 90 percent of them [will be viral]. That’s the expectation.

Amazing. The thing is, I don't know if he's giving himself enough credit. ONLY 90%????

Oh, and he subscribes to the Jah Rule school of thought: WHO CARES?

"Then I had so much time, too, because I missed that whole year and the second year after, so I didn’t have anything to do," Embiid said. "[I’d] just go on social media and converse with fans, make crazy jokes, and tweet crazy stuff because I don’t care. I say whatever I want to."

His critique of other players' boring Twitter accounts is also incredibly on point:

What do you mean some guys are always tweeting the same thing?

Joel: Bullshit like, “Game Day!” “It’s a great game.” I don’t know. They’re all the same. It’s boring.

Amen.

The whole Q&A is worth any Sixers fan's time just to get to know a little more about Jojo. Be happy he's ours. And pray he stays healthy so he can take his game on the court to the same level as his game off of it.

Eagles-hater Pete Morelli allowed to referee future Birds' games

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USA Today Images

Eagles-hater Pete Morelli allowed to referee future Birds' games

If you like penalties and hate the Eagles, you clicked on the right story.

Alleged Eagles hater Pete Morelli will be allowed to referee future Birds' games after the league found no signs of bias towards the Eagles. 

How's this for bias? In a Week 6 win over the Panthers, the Eagles were flagged 10 times for 126 yards. Compare that to the Panthers' one penalty for one yard and you see the problem.

But it wasn't the first time Morelli got flag-happy against the Eagles. In Morelli's last 4 Eagles' games — all away from the Linc — his crew has thrown 40 penalties for 396 yards to opponents' eight penalties for 74 yards. I'm not a numbers guy, but something seems off here.

In true Philly sports fashion, the Eagles will now reach the Super Bowl where Morelli and Co. will be waiting to rain yellow on the field, leading to an Andy Reid-led Chiefs' victory where Reid orchestrates an efficient two-minute game-winning drive, perfectly utilizing all three timeouts.