After shutting down the Grill Room for the second half of the season last year for several reasons (contract demands, technological differences, a revamped menu, root canals, ex-wife telling me she’s getting remarried ... OK, you get the picture), the Grill Room is back open for business. Opening-week rum and Cokes are on the house!
Happy Hour Predictions!
John Daly WDs/DQs/MCs for 2012 – This depends on how many sponsors will continue to give Daly invites, but I’m setting the bar at a 75 percent clip of WDs/DQs/MCs for events that he starts. That means three out of four he will not finish what he started. Go JD!
BCS Championship – Alabama over LSU. The reason? Nick Saban simply scares me. I believe that if I cheer for LSU, Saban will show up at my doorstep in the middle of the night and cast an evil spell.
Super Bowl – New Orleans Saints. Drew Breeeeeeeeeeeeees!
Masters Tournament – Well, I don’t really want to toot my own horn or give myself a slap on the back, but I called Charl Schwartzel to win the Masters last year at 66-1. Therefore, here is my gift to you: smart bet – Jason Day at 28-1; crazy, Schwartzel-like bet – Robert Karlsson at 100-1.
Oscar for Best Picture – And the envelope please ... ‘Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close.’ Tom Hanks, Sandra Bullock, 9-11. A mixture of America’s favorite actors and one of America’s worst nightmares.
Kentucky Derby – Liaison.
NBA Finals – Miami Heat. Sadly, a lock.
U.S. Open – Jason Dufner. Just a hunch. Like his shoulders.
Wimbledon – Roger Federer. Oops, just wishful thinking. Novak Djokovic once again.
Open Championship – A European. That’s all I got.
Summer Olympics – Ryan Lochte upsets Michael Phelps in several races. USA barely beats Spain for gold in hoops. Italy over Hungary in fencing.
PGA Championship – In the craziest major of the year, Kiawah Island and the Atlantic Ocean winds wreak havoc on the entire field. Last man standing, albeit dazed and confused ... is Lee Westwood.
Mayweather-Pacquio – ... if it happens. Both fighters are two of thegreatest ever. And for the first time in my life I don’t have agut feeling. My dog Mikko says gowith Money Mayweather.
Total majors won by Yani Tseng – Two. The smart choice is four, but by saying two I’m hoping that at least the other two are interesting.
PGA Tour Player of the Year – Jason Day.
Stat-O-Licious
So much for quick starts on the PGA Tour. In the last 10 years, the winner of the season-opening event in Maui has failed to finish the year as the leading money winner. In fact, only Vijay Singh in 2007 could muster a top-3 showing on the year’s final money list (although he still finished $6 million behind Tiger Woods that year). Here’s the list (year, player, final place on money list):
‘11 – Jonathan Byrd – 22nd
‘10 – Geoff Ogilvy – 29th
‘09 – Ogilvy – 8th
‘08 – Daniel Chopra – 52nd
‘07 – Singh – 3rd
‘06 – Stuart Appleby – 8th
‘05 – Appleby – 23rd
‘04 – Appleby – 13th
‘03 – Ernie Els – 9th
‘02 – Sergio Garcia – 12th
On a Scale from 1-10
(with 10 being awesome and 1 completely sucking)
Cost of golf balls – 2. Waaaaaaaay too expensive. Not sure why but I think I’m entitled to free golf balls. Hell, I think everyone should get free golf balls. Why pay for something if you know with 100 percent certainty that you are going to lose it? Would you buy an $800 big-screen TV if after several weeks you knew you would come home from work one day and it would be gone? Granted, this logic doesn’t work with sunglasses, food and gambling accounts.
Sneezing – 8 and 1. If you’re sitting on the couch, in the privacy of your own home, a nice sneeze can be refreshing. Good for you, it helps with your body’s immune system. But if you are in the checkout line at the grocery store or talking to that new, hot chick at work, an ill-timed sneeze might be one of the worst things in the world. For your enjoyment I have put together some fun, barroom tidbits on sneezing:
• Sneezes travel at a rate of 100 mph, which it turns out, is only about half as fast as a golf ball being launched off a tee.
• Bright light, i.e. sunlight, can make you sneeze. One out of three people has this condition. And yes, there is a name for you freaks: ‘photics.’ The Golf Guy is one of them.
• Mythbuster: Your eyes will NOT pop out of your head if you sneeze with your eyes open. And that’s a shame, this would make for some funny YouTube moments.
• Mythbuster Part II: Eight sneezes in a row will NOT cause one to have an orgasm. And that, too, is a shame, as that would also make for some funny YouTube moments.
• Sneezing during someone’s backswing is regrettable but a forgivable offense. Rule 37-6 states: ‘If a player sneezes during someone’s backswing and ultimately causes the player to spray his tee shot out of bounds and lose his golf ball, the sneezer must immediately replace his golf ball, offer up a sheepish ‘Sorry about that,’ buy him a hot dog at the turn ... but incurs no penalty strokes.’
