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How scrappy is Ryan Theriot?

Los Angeles Dodgers v Colorado Rockies

DENVER - SEPTEMBER 27: Second baseman Ryan Theriot #13 of the Los Angeles Dodgers makes the stop on a ground ball by Todd Helton of the Colorado Rockies but looses the handle on the ball and is unable to throw out Helton at Coors Field on September 25, 2010 in Denver, Colorado. (Photo by Doug Pensinger/Getty Images)

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You’re not going to believe this, but in the wake of the Cardinals trading for a white middle infielder with moderate-at-best skills yesterday, someone has written a column praising him as a scrappy gritty hard worker, complete with a David Eckstein comparison. I’m so shocked that, as we speak, I’m clutching my pearls and hoping my fainting couch is right behind me where I left it.

But how scrappy is Ryan Theriot? Matt Sebek tries to figure it out, and the results may be the all-time best deconstruction of scappiosity ever written. If you think it’s just about being white and otherwise untalented you don’t know what scrappiness truly is. The click is worth it for the chart alone. I don’t literally laugh out loud very often, but Sebek’s column had me laughing out loud. Literally.