The most very special Hall of Fame ballot so far

We’ve actually had fewer stone cold bummer Hall of Fame ballots publicly revealed so far this year than we usually get. Maybe because bad voters don’t publicize them as much, realizing that jackasses like me are going to criticize them. Maybe because there are so darn many Hall of Fame worthy candidates floating around these days that it’s truly hard to make out an awful ballot, at least as long as you put more than five or six names on it.

But give some credit to Jay Dunn of the Trentonian, who tries his able best to do so.

It starts out well enough, with a full-throated argument in favor of Craig Biggio. Good show! Biggio belongs. Thanks for your vote, Jay! He’s also adding Randy Johnson, Pedro Martinez and John Smoltz. Nothing unusual there.

But then we get this kind of thing:

But I don’t agree that I should stop after casting three or four votes. In fact, I just placed an X next to Fred McGriff’s name . . . As a point of reference, his home run total (493) is exactly the same as Lou Gehrig. His RBI total (1,550) exceeds Joe DiMaggio’s achievement by 10.

This is my favorite bad vote defense. “Player X had more [stat] than Player Y and more [stat] than Player Z!” Usually, as is the case here, Player Y and Player Z were not best known for the cited stats. Great, you had more stolen bases than Willie Stargell, but that doesn’t make you a hall of Famer. Even here, this is ridiculous. If you asked Dunn straight up if McGriff was anywhere close to the players that Lou Gehrig or Joe DiMaggio were, he’d obviously say no. To therefore listen to this kind of argument in his favor is practically insulting. Then this:

When Lee Smith retired he was the all-time leader in saves, a distinction subsequently passed by two players. I’ve been voting for him for years and I don’t see any reason to stop now.

I dunno, because there are several players on the ballot better than Smith is and you have a finite number of votes? Go on, Mr. Dunn:

My ballot is starting to filling up and I still haven’t voted for Jeff Bagwell, Edgar Martinez, Tim Raines or Alan Trammell, players I’ve voted for in the past. I can’t vote for all of them this year and I might not be able to vote for any of them.

But . . . but . . . the Lee Smith rule? Why do you have reason to stop voting for these guys if not Smith?

That’s because there are two other newcomers — Nomar Garciaparra and Gary Sheffield — who can’t be overlooked.

No, man. They really can! I swear to you, they can!

Garciaparra played in what I believe was the golden era of shortstops. He played in the same league as Alex Rodriguez, Derek Jeter and Omar Vizquel and still earned six trips to the All-Star Game.

His fielding was always sparkling and his career batting average was .313. That gets my vote.

Actually, his fielding wasn’t always sparkling. For a great portion of his career -- most of it after he left Boston -- he was a subpar defensive player. But don’t let get in your way. And one man’s Golden Age is another man’s Glut. Is it better to have been, I dunno, the third or fourth best shortstop in an age where there weren’t a ton of great ones like Alan Trammell was, or is it better to be the third or fourth best in an age where it really wasn’t that had to find a good one, like Nomar?

As for Sheffield, he notes the PED taint -- Sheffield was named in the Mitchell Report -- and holds solid PED evidence against Barry Bonds and Roger Clemens. But he excuses Sheffield because “he says he used them unwittingly.” OK.

That’s weird. Almost as weird as a voter having McGriff, Smith, Sheffield and Nomar over Bagwell, Raines, Trammell, Edgar Martinez and others. I don’t know how that even happens.