Mookie Wilson -- possible Mets first base coach -- provides me with an excuse to mock my own child
Andy Martino of the Daily News does his best to comfort sad Wally Backman fans by passing along word that the team may be considering another 1986 Met for the coaching staff: Mookie Wilson, who could become the team’s first base coach.
First base coaches don’t really matter, but I link this for three reasons: (1) I LOVE Mookie Wilson; (2) it’s a slow news day; and (3) it gives me an opportunity to tell you how I annoyed my daughter over the weekend.
For the past three years I have contributed an article to The Hardball Times Baseball Annual. It just came out and you should buy it, by the way. No, I don’t get any money if it becomes a best seller. It’s just the best baseball annual you’re going to find, my article -- recapping the year’s more frivolous stories -- is pretty hilarious if I say so myself, and The Hardball Times is an awesome organization consisting of awesome people and you should support them. With the shilling over, here’s how I annoyed my daughter:
In the back of the book, all of the Hardball Times contributors have a little author bio. For the past two years I’ve ended my bio by saying “Craig lives with his wife and two children -- Mookie and Tyrus Raymond -- in a fortified compound on the outskirts of New Albany, Ohio.” Last year I told my daughter that I called her Mookie and she was livid, insisting that her name is not, in fact, Mookie. I did it again this year, of course, and I got my copy of the book on Saturday. I quickly turned to the bio page and put it in front of my daughter to show her that, once again, she is Mookie. She totally freaked out on me. It was fabulous. And hey, if you can’t mock your kids, who can you mock?
I woke up on Sunday morning with this picture shoved under my bedroom door:
Yes, that is my daughter shooting me with a ray-gun of some sort as her little brother -- Tyrus Raymond -- looks on laughing and as I scream in pain and horror. And hey, she got my little basement studio in there and everything! That kid has a bright future ahead of her assuming she doesn’t murder her father and stuff.
But next year: she’s totally Mookie again. Or maybe Honus.