There are people out there, believe it or not, who like dogs. I know, right? All of us normal, upstanding Americans doing what we can to make our country great by owning cats and yet some people still think that dogs are the better choice. I mean, good for the dogs -- they’re innocent in this and at least someone is looking out for them -- but the judgment of people who prefer them to cats is one of the greatest threats to our country. What’s next? We let them play center field? Perish the thought.
Anyway the Arizona Diamondbacks are catering to these monsters this year at Chase Field:
First team to install a Cat Room -- an enclosed space with a large sun-facing window that provides a commanding view of the playing field along with some comfy chairs -- will be the true geniuses. I’ll purchase season tickets and change my allegience to whatever club does this. Providing, of course, I’m allowed to unwind in the cat room whenever I want.
As for the Dbacks: OK, fine. This is a nice gesture. For the dogs, I mean, who again are sweet and innocent here and who deserve a nice place to visit. I mean, they have to live with dog people for crying out loud, and that has to be a drag. So needy, they are. Insisting on having a pet that is all about catering to their craving for validation rather than one which will peacefully coexist on their own terms with self-assured people who don’t need all of that attention. The least we can do for the poor dogs is to let them go to a ballgame once in awhile.