I can’t get enough of these kinds of descriptions of the Diamondbacks. In reference to the Justin Upton trade:
Primal roars! Gnashing of teeth! Pounding of chests!
Aww, the gritty he-men have boo-boos.
Meanwhile, Justin Upton takes a long, slow drink from a tall glass of lemonade, gets out of his La-Z-Boy, loafs up to the plate and hits a ball 567 feet.
But good work on that grit, Kirk and Kevin.