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In spring training Miguel Olivo actually said he wanted to be a boxer “like Mike Tyson, but without biting an ear”

Miguel Olivo

Sometimes the world is just too perfect. I mean, it really sucks for Alex Guerrero, but for the rest of us it’s pretty perfect. I’m talking about this interview -- pointed out to the English-speaking baseball world by Eric Stephen of True Blue LA -- in which catcher/cannibal Miguel Olivo said that if he weren’t a baseball player that he would’ve been a boxer. “Like Mike Tyson, but without the ear biting.”

There are no accidents, people.

In other news, the Dodgers have suspended Olivo pending an investigation of the ear-biting thing. Which, OK, investigate all you’d like but I’m pretty sure he bit a part of Alex Guerrero’s ear off and that that was bad. Why you don’t just release the journeyman catcher on veteran minimum deal for assaulting/eating your prize infield prospect I’m not sure.

But then again, Dodgers GM Ned Colletti did say the other night that Olivo’s attack of Guerrero was “not constructive,” -- yes, he really said that -- so I sorta feel like maybe they haven’t really grokked the seriousness of it all. Not preparing for a meeting is “not constructive.” Biting someone’s ear off is something . . . more.