Skip navigation
Sign up to follow your favorites on all your devices.
Sign up

Ready your awful Australian jokes for Nathan Walker’s NHL debut

Washington Capitals v New Jersey Devils

NEWARK, NJ - SEPTEMBER 18: Nathan Walker #79 of the Washington Capitals skates against the New Jersey Devils during a preseason game at the Prudential Center on September 18, 2017 in Newark, New Jersey. The Devils defeated the Capitals 4-1. (Photo by Bruce Bennett/Getty Images)

Getty Images

Even as a noted cheeseball joke enthusiast and shameless dispenser of puns, it’s difficult not to shudder at the potential barbs* that are ready to surface as Washington Capitals forward Nathan Walker is primed to become the first Australian to play in the NHL.

Let’s ponder all the bad jokes that could come about. Maybe this will serve as “pulling off the Band-Aid” or purging?

(No, it will probably only make things worse. Sorry.)

“That’s a stick? This is a stick.”

“He protected that puck as if it was in a kangaroo pouch.”

(Just imagine the Outback Steakhouse references if Walker takes a penalty.)

“Walker: Australian for hockey.”

Yeah, this could go poorly. Others have shown better taste in pumping up the 23-year-old’s impending debut.

Also, considering his speed, it’s probably OK for the occasional “Crikey, that guy is fast” comment. Let’s just try not to get too carried away with it. Don’t want to let this boomerang out of control.

Read more about the Capitals forward in this edition of “looking to make the leap.”

* Shrimp on the barbs? Oh no, what have I done?