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“Oh, my goodness!” … Yes, this is one poor penalty kick

FBL-US-COLOMBIA-BRAZIL

Brazil’s Neymar (11) is comforted by Colombia’s goalie David Ospina (1) after missing a penalty kick during the friendly match between Colombia and Brazil November 14, 2012 at MetLife Stadium in East Rutherford, New Jersey. The match ended in a 1-1 tie. AFP PHOTO/DON EMMERT (Photo credit should read DON EMMERT/AFP/Getty Images)

AFP/Getty Images

I have a theory on penalty kicks: The more tricked up a shooter makes it, the higher his chances rise of 12-yard, spot shot catastrophe. (Not to mention the attached YouTube infamy.)

I think we can all agree that launching a penalty kick into the upper deck qualifies as relative catastrophe. I mean, you know it’s bad when players on the other team clearly feel sorry for you.

Here is Neymar’s shot from last night’s 1-1 draw between Brazil and Colombia inside the, uh, let’s go with “under-supported” MetLife Stadium. (In other words, at least there weren’t that many people around to watch Brazil’s young star blow it big time in the late going.)

Here’s the wayward shot, one that Neymar complicated by screwing the ball inexplicably into the turf, taking a funky, dance-step initial run-up and even further muddling the move with the always dicey stutter step.

Seriously, guys, just pick a side and hit it. It’s a penalty kick, after all, not a Rubik’s Cube to be solved:

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