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ProSoccerTalk’s weekly MLS Panic Quotient (®)

Montreal Impact v D.C. United

WASHINGTON, DC - APRIL 18: Branko Boskovic #8 of D.C. United kicks the ball away from Davy Anaud #22 of Montreal Impact at RFK Stadium on April 18, 2012 in Washington, DC. (Photo by Larry French/Getty Images)

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ProSoccerTalk’s weekly MLS Panic Quotient (®) takes the temperature of stress and distress in the streets of Major League Soccer.

BRANKO BOSKOVIC: Have you seen the young guns around RFK Stadium? Andy Najar, Chris Pontius, Danny Cruz and Nick DeLeon are making serious mayhem for opposition, all at relative bargain big salary prices. Truly, getting them all into the lineup when all are healthy and available looks like a season-long challenge ahead for United boss Ben Olsen. Because Dwayne De Rosario’s spot is safe as the gold standard. So, uh, where does all that leave Boskovic, the ineffective DP whose contract expires this summer? Oh, well, there’s always a seat waiting on the Panic Quotient bench.

Panic quotient: Just dropped off date. Things went well! This could go somewhere. … Wait a minute … What’s this? … Has that zipper been down all night?

CHIVAS USA: Perhaps some attorney out there can help me out here. If the good men and managers of Chivas USA become injured getting yanked on and off the MLS Panic Quotient wagon, is ProSoccerTalk liable in any way? Honestly though, it does look more and more predictable. Play on the road, score a goal, get three points … no room at the Panic Quotient Inn! But play at home, get shut out (again!) and slog off to the locker room contemplating the latest HDC opportunity lost … get thrown right back onto the Panic Quotient truck like a big Hefty bag full of weekend leavings.

Panic quotient: You’re down 2-0 in huge penalty kick semifinal … and about to take a kick against 6-4 German giant Manuel Neuer.

TORONTO FC: You know, I just can’t beat up on them anymore. (Any more than I already have at least. Exhibit A. And then there’s Exhibit B.) But I will say this: You may not see Toronto on the Panic Quotient much longer. At some point, panic melts away into sad resignation. How far can that really be?

Panic quotient: This is your captain speaking: Assume the crash position.