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“Trevor effing Plouffe. Plouffe was magical.”

Milwaukee Brewers v Minnesota Twins

MINNEAPOLIS, MN - JUNE 15: Trevor Plouffe #24 of the Minnesota Twins hits a solo home run against the Milwaukee Brewers during the fifth inning on June 15, 2012 at Target Field in Minneapolis, Minnesota. (Photo by Hannah Foslien/Getty Images)

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Not just that. “He was a goddamn unicorn.”

Confused? You won’t be after reading “Trevor Effing Plouffe.” Tommy Smith’s fictional story about The Twins’ (apparently) inspiring utilityman.

Really, if you had to pick any player in all of baseball as the one who would inspire short fiction, how many of you would have Plouffe in your top 100?