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Lobbyist plans to introduce bill aimed at banning gay NFL players . . . seriously


Just when it appeared that a supposedly modern, progressive society is willing to accept people for who they are and not force them to pretend to be something they’re not, someone is trying to kick the pendulum sharply in the other direction.

According to The Hill, lobbyist Jack Burkman said Monday that he’s preparing legislation that would ban gay players from the NFL.

We are losing our decency as a nation,” Burkman said in a statement. “Imagine your son being forced to shower with a gay man. That’s a horrifying prospect for every mom in the country. What in the world has this nation come to?”

What has the nation come to indeed.

While Burkman didn’t name any of the politicians who support the idea of preventing Michael Sam from joining an NFL team and, presumably, finding any of the closeted gay men who have been playing pro football and eject them from the sport, Burkman says he has amassed support for the bill.

“If the NFL has no morals and no values, then Congress must find values for it,” Burkman said.

It’s unclear how far legislation banning gay men from making a living playing pro football would go, and we’re still not sure how the law would go about spotting anyone who is gay and who chooses to keep that fact quiet.

Ultimately, it doesn’t matter. No legislative body will go for this. And as Dwight Schrute learned to his chagrin, Gaydar doesn’t really work.