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Rob Ryan’s house is sinking, and there’s a lot of weird stuff involved

New Orleans Saints v Baltimore Ravens

Rob Carr

Easy jokes are the easiest to make, and low-hanging fruit remains fruit.

Yes, Rob Ryan’s house is sinking.

While there may be a metaphor in there for the Saints defense which he coordinates, this is in reference to his actual house, and he’s suing a pile of people for it.

According to Andy Grimm of the New Orleans Times-Picayune, Ryan has filed suit against the developer, builder and an engineering firm because his $2 million Uptown home is sinking.

“The builders fumbled the ball,” said Randy Smith, Ryan’s attorney who seems cast perfectly in this role. “And Rob Ryan, of all people, is not going to let it just sit on the ground.”

While this is all a terrible tragedy (no one’s house should ever sink) and there are terribly boring details involving pilings and joists and other construction words, let’s not lose sight of the salient point.

Rob Ryan’s house is sinking.

This story is just full of interesting, since Smith also represents the estranged family members who sued Saints owner Tom Benson, saying his new wife has plied him with candy and wine and ice cream to the point he’s incompetent to run the team.

“It is unbelievable that Rob Ryan would choose to work with the same attorney that is attempting to discredit the owner of the Saints,” developer Jim MacPhaille said in a statement. “In true fashion, attorney Randy Smith has filed a lawsuit full of exaggerations, fairy tales and outright misrepresentations in order to paint Rob Ryan as a victim.”

The one thing that can be safely gathered from this story is that the United States of America is a better place for having a nutty little town like New Orleans in it, and the NFL is better for having a character like Rob Ryan in it. So whether his beams are bowed or whatever, let’s hope that everyone is safe, and this story just goes on forever, because this is a gold mine of material.