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The Stefanski family motto isn’t as catchy as the Harbaugh family motto

Even after Kevin Stefanski's first press conference as the Browns' new head coach, Chris Simms still stands by his belief that Cleveland made the wrong decision by hiring the Vikings OC.

Football coaches John and Jim Harbaugh routinely recite a motto coined decades ago by their football-coaching father, Jack: “Who’s got it better than us? Nobody!”

Brand-new football coach Kevin Stefanski has a very different family motto: “Pressure? Get a dog if you have pressure.”

As former Net G.M. Ed Stefanski explains it to Marla Ridenour of the Akron Beacon Journal, the saying emerged from Stefanki’s conversations with former NBA star Jason Kidd.

“I would always tease him about pressure and Jason Kidd said one time, ‘Pressure? If you have pressure, go get a dog,’” Ed Stefanski said. “We used to always say, ‘Pressure? What’s pressure? Get a dog if you have pressure.’”

Coincidentally, Kevin Stefanski said during his introductory press conference that the family will indeed be getting a dog, not because of pressure but because of promises made to young children who will be leaving the only home they’ve known, in Minnesota.

While the Stefanski slogan may have made for some interesting alternative lyrics to the classic Queen and David Bowie song, it’s even more confusing than some of the actual words from that tune. Get a dog if you have pressure? OK. Get a dog if you don’t have pressure. Basically, just get a dog.

Given that the motto is essentially a shield of sorts against feelings of pressure, the more accurate saying would be this: “Pressure? Say ‘get a dog if you have pressure’ if you have pressure.”

Regardless, there will be pressure for Stefanski in Cleveland. And whether his answer for it is getting a dog or telling himself “get a dog,” he’ll need to figure out how to handle it. Because it’s obvious, given the revolving door since Jimmy Haslam brought the team, that the “right guy” quickly becomes the wrong guy if he doesn’t win enough games. Which means that Stefanski either will win enough to stay in Cleveland, or that he’ll be buying his kids another dog when they make their next move in 2022 or 2023.