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Canseco to sue MLB. Good luck with that.

Because steroids are such gosh darn fun, let’s ponder this one for a bit:

Jose Canseco plans to file a class-action lawsuit against Major League Baseball and the players’ association, saying he’s been ostracized for going public with tales of steroids use in the sport.

Canseco said Wednesday that he has discussed the suit with lawyers and intends to enlist Sammy Sosa and Rafael Palmeiro to join in the suit. Canseco said the basis of the suit would be “lost wages -- in some cases, defamation of character.”

“Because I used steroids and I came out with a book, I was kicked out of the game, but I have not been inducted into the Hall of Fame,” Canseco said in a telephone interview.

With a few minor exceptions, this is a fabulous idea! The exceptions being that (a) Canseco was done as a player after the 2001 season and came out with his book in 2005, meaning that he couldn’t have been kicked out of baseball for writing it; (b) Canseco could not have been “defamed” over steroids when he, you know, has admitted to everyone in the planet -- often with glee -- that he did, in fact, do lots and lots of steroids; (c) There is no such thing as a “class action lawsuit” that involves Canseco plus whatever small number of players could cobble together, and even if there was, members of a class action lawsuit have to have common claims; and (d) neither he nor anyone else has a legal right to be inducted into the Hall of Fame or to be given a job in baseball after retirement.

If a court should do anything involving Jose Canseco, it should, in the interests of public decency, prevent him from taking these media victory laps and being allowed to spew this kind of garbage each and every time a new person is connected with steroids. Jose: your 15 minutes ended about 500 minutes ago. Please, for the sake of everyone’s sanity, go find something quiet to do until you can collect your pension and thus no longer need to make a spectacle out of yourself for self-tanner and mesh shirt money.