We recently learned that Vikings quarterback Brett Favre doesn’t know the meaning of the term “schism.”
Apparently, Bengals receiver Chad Ochocinco doesn’t understand the word “uniform.”
Chad is pitching a fit, Twitter-style, over a $5,000 fine he received for wearing an orange chinstrap during the team’s Thursday night game against the Rams.
Said Ochocinco on his Twitter page earlier today: “I got a damn fine already, it’s the damn preseason, this is some bullshit!!!!”
(There’s a good chance that complaining about the fine in a profane and public forum will result in a separate fine, which could spark a cycle that will end only when Ochocino is banko-rupto.)
In a subsequent tweet directed to ESPN’s Chris Mortensen, Ochocinco said, “mort this is fuc^#%ing ridiculous, I am typing a letter back to the league office as we speak, I’m fining they a$$ back!!!!”
Later, Chad took the tongue-in-cheek position that he wore the orange chinstrap because he’s disabled: “Im sueing the NFL, I am color blind so this fine is discriminating because I’m disabled in a way, this is a sad day for me:(“
(We agree that he’s “disabled in a way,” but not because he’s colorblind.)
Actually, Chad got lucky on this one. The fine schedule calls for a $7,500 fine for “chin straps.” Apparently, the league office applies that fine only to players who fail to buckle their straps, relying upon the $5,000 catch-all for “other” uniform violations where the chinstrap is buckled, but not the same color as the chinstraps worn by every other player on the team.
It’s not yet known how Ochocinco got his hands on an orange chinstrap. Technically, the league can fine the Bengals and/or the coaching staff for “condoning, permitting, etc.” uniform violations.
Then again, the league didn’t fine the Bengals for making an “Ocho Cinco” name plate and attaching it to Chad’s game jersey several years ago. It’s thus unlikely that the league will fine the team for letting Chad use an orange chinstrap, even if the Bengals obtained it for him.
And, of course, Chad will call us “haters” for pointing any of this stuff out.
But we’re just doing our job. If we didn’t, NBC would fine us $5,000.
