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Don Mattingly’s wife joins Mr. Burns in telling him to shave

don mattingly simpsons

First it was George Steinbrenner telling him to cut his long hair. Then it was Mr. Burns telling him to shave his sideburns. And now his wife is telling him to get rid of the goatee.

Don Mattingly can’t seem to catch a hair-related break.

Dylan Hernandez of the Los Angeles Times describes how the Dodgers’ recent strong play has led to a disagreement in the Mattingly household:

Here’s the problem: The recent run has coincided with the appearance of a goatee on the face of manager Don Mattingly, and Mrs. Mattingly wants him to shave. “It stays for a couple more days,” Mattingly said. “I have at least 10 more days until I see Lori again.”

Mattingly’s wife lives primarily at the couple’s Indiana residence. While conceding that Mattingly looks better cleanshaven, catcher Rod Barajas pleaded with his manager’s new wife to withstand the unsightliness. “He has some white in there,” Barajas said. “He might want to try Just For Men. I feel bad for his wife, but that’s the game. The hair’s staying. This game is all about superstition.”

At this point Mattingly might as well just go with the Gustavo Chacin/alopecia look and end all the hassle.