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Mark Grudzielanek retires

Mark Grudzielanek, Brett Gardner

New York Yankees’ Brett Gardner is out at second as Cleveland Indians’ second baseman Mark Grudzielanek relays the ball to first to complete the double play on Yankees’ Derek Jeter during the seventh inning of a baseball game Saturday, May 29, 2010 at Yankee Stadium in New York. The Indians won 13-11. (AP Photo/Bill Kostroun)


Jon Paul Morosi reports that Mark Grudzielanek has announced his retirement.

Over the course of 15 seasons Grudzielanek hit .289/.332/.393 for six teams. He finished with over 2000 hits and won the gold glove at 2B in 2006. Not a bad career. Not a bad career at all. In my book that puts him in the Hall of Damn Solid Major Leaguers. I presume he’ll be enshrined wearing a Dodgers cap based on longevity, considering that longevity is the cardinal achievement of Damn Solid Major Leaguers.

But while Grudzielanek’s career may not justify Hall of Fame debates, the off-the-field implications for his retirement are tremendous. Sports page editors all over America cheer this decision, certainly. Especially those in Kansas City who, in 2006, were driven to the brink of suicide when they were forced to spell both “Grudzielanek” and “Mientkiewicz” every single night for six months straight.

Which leads to a bit of trivia: did you know that Ctrl-C, the copy-and-paste function, was invented by a reporter for the Montreal Gazette who was the first major league beat writer tasked with typing Grudzielanek’s name when he broke into the majors with the Expos in 1995? It’s true!*

*May not be true.

Happy trails Mr. Grudzielanek.