1. Panthers (14-0; last week No. 1): The Panthers apparently broke Odell Beckham’s brain.
2. Cardinals (12-2; No. 2): Losing Tyrann Mathieu will make it a lot harder to get past Seattle and Carolina.
3. Patriots (12-2; No. 3): With the stroke of a pen, Steven Jackson is guaranteed to finish the season on a winning team for the first time in his career.
4. Packers (10-4; No. 4): They’re just good enough to lose in the divisional round.
5. Seahawks (9-5; No. 5): Mike Pettine is as good at ranking quarterbacks as his team is at winning games.
6. Steelers (9-5; No. 7): The only way to beat this team is to figure out how to outscore its offense.
7. Chiefs (9-5; No. 8): Suddenly, a division title isn’t out of the question.
8. Bengals (11-3; No. 9): A.J. McCarron did enough to beat the 49ers, which will be slightly different from what he’ll have to do to beat the Broncos.
9. Broncos (10-4; No. 6): “Bullsh-t and insulting” is also the best way to summarize the team’s second-half offense.
10. Jets (9-5; No. 10): In a season that could have a couple of eight-win teams in the playoffs, the Jets could be a double-digit winner that gets shut out.
11. Vikings (9-5; No. 11): When Teddy Bridgewater can play like that against a great team, the Vikings will be in great shape.
12. Washington (7-7; No. 14): Kirk Cousins is getting better and better, and few are willing to admit it.
13. Texans (7-7; No. 17): Who would have ever thought they’d miss Matt Schaub?
14. Raiders (6-8; No. 12): Charles Woodson leaving the Raiders hurts almost as much as the Raiders possibly leaving Oakland.
15. Eagles (6-8; No. 13): DeMarco Murray is trying to figure out who he can complain to about the owner.
16. Giants (6-8; No. 15): “Excuses are made for the stars, examples are made of the scrubs.”
17. Bills (6-8; No. 16): When Rex Ryan guaranteed a return to the playoffs, he technically didn’t specify a year.
18. Buccaneers (6-8; No. 18): Trying to prevent the Panthers from getting to 16-0 is the only thing they have left to play for.
19. Falcons (7-7; No. 22): If the Panthers take the Falcons lightly, the Panthers may only win by single digits.
20. Rams (6-8; No. 24): With two more wins, Bruce Arians will be right again.
21. Bears (5-9; No. 19): The bear that mauls Leonardo DiCaprio was way scarier.
22. Colts (6-8; No. 20): Not even the 2-14 Colts of 2011 lost to the Texans at home.
23. Lions (5-9; No. 26): Jim Caldwell keeps doing almost just enough to justify keeping him.
24. Jaguars (5-9; No. 21): They should have saved a few of those 51 points from last week.
25. Dolphins (5-9; No. 23): In roughly two weeks, they’ll offer the head-coaching job to the top candidate on their list, who will respectfully decline.
26. Saints (5-9; No. 25): There’s a funk enveloping this franchise, and no one knows how it’s going to be resolved.
27. Chargers (4-10; No. 31): If the Chargers played more often like they did during what could have been their last game in San Diego, maybe they’d have a stadium there by now.
28. Cowboys (4-10; No. 27): Intentional grounding that results in an interception is the perfect metaphor for the 2015 Cowboys.
29. Ravens (4-10; No. 28): Those mustard-colored pants need a little more brown in them to properly reflect what this season has been for the Ravens.
30. Browns (3-11; No. 29): The Factory of Sadness has filled and shipped all Christmas orders.
31. 49ers (4-10; No. 30): They’ll likely find a way to screw up a sure-fire top-five pick.
32. Titans (3-11; No. 32): For the last two games, the Titans would be wise to become the Tankers.
