1. Broncos: Nine straight wins are enough to put them straight at the top of the stack.
2. 49ers: Two Niners teams showed up on Sunday night. Only one of them can win the Super Bowl.
3. Falcons: They should have saved a few of those points for their playoff opener.
4. Texans: The road to New Orleans most likely will go through Houston. The question is whether the team from Houston will be the one making the trip.
5. Patriots: Those who think Sunday night’s loss to the 49ers removes the Pats from Super Bowl consideration apparently don’t realize that the 49ers don’t play in the AFC.
6. Packers: They’d have a better chance of advancing in the postseason if Sidney Crosby was their kicker. Or Bing Crosby. Or Bill Cosby.
7. Seahawks: The hottest team in the NFC will make their move to the top five if they can topple the 49ers.
8. Redskins: Maybe Kirk Cousins is actually the rookie of the year.
9. Cowboys: They’re playing just well enough to eventually blow their shot at a playoff berth.
10. Bengals: They’re playing just well enough to eventually blow their shot at a playoff berth.
11. Colts: The team that never quits will be tough to beat in January, especially if they get their head coach back.
12. Vikings: If running the ball and playing defense were still the formula for winning championships, the Vikings would be in great shape.
13. Giants: The fact that they expect to find the gas pedal when they need to could make it less likely that they will.
14. Ravens: Fat, drunk, stupid and/or carrying a five-game losing streak into the postseason is no way to go through life.
15. Steelers: The franchise has had three coaches since 1969. More and more locals are ready for No. 4.
16. Panthers: Ron Rivera is earning another chance to make good on Ryan Kalil’s prediction.
17. Bears: Within Lovie Smith’s 2003 introductory press conference resides the main reason why the end of his tenure is near.
18. Saints: That 41-0 win may have been aimed at persuading Sean Payton to believe that the team is still Super Bowl ready.
19. Rams: Sooner or later, this team has to confront the quarterback question.
20. Dolphins: 40 years after 17-0, the Fins are still technically alive for the postseason.
21. Titans: Given their mutual fondness for middle fingers, maybe Bud Adams should hire Rex Ryan.
22. Browns: After a temporary outage, the Factory of Sadness is back on its normal production schedule.
23. Bills: It’s a good thing they signed Mario Williams; otherwise, the Bills may have given up 100 points to the Seahawks.
24. Buccaneers: At least they didn’t have to try to blow up victory formation.
25. Jets: The next two weeks could be all about showcasing Tim Tebow for a possible trade.
26. Chargers: Philip Rivers possibly wishes the next two weeks would be all about showcasing himself for a trade.
27. Cardinals: Even if they win the rest of their games, that 58-0 blowout will likely blow out the coach and much of the front office.
28. Eagles: Best evidence that Garrett Reid wasn’t distributing steroids? The team’s won-loss record.
29. Lions: Once again, the Lions will play the role of spoilers who couldn’t spoil milk.
30. Raiders: By winning against the Chiefs, the Raiders merely lost the chance at a higher draft slot for 2013.
31. Jaguars: It’s only a matter of time before Tim Tebow rides a donkey into his hometown.
32. Chiefs: Ricky Stanzi may finally get his close up. At a time when absolutely no one is paying attention.
