1. Chiefs (3-0; No. 2): They shouldn’t go to sleep on their Monday night opponent.
2. Patriots (2-1; No. 3): If they had a hard time containing Deshaun Watson, how will they do against Cam Newton?
3. Falcons (3-0; No. 4): Pretty or ugly, September wins are money in the oversized, futuristic, metal change purse that looks like a football stadium.
4. Packers (2-1; No. 6): How much can Aaron Rodgers do without much help around him? We keep finding out.
5. Cowboys (2-1; No. 10): Dak Prescott means a lot more to this team right now than Ezekiel Elliott.
6. Washington (2-1; No. 21): A fifteen-spot jump is extreme. That not-as-close-as-it-was 27-10 splattering of the Raiders was worse.
7. Raiders (2-1; previously No. 1): Derek Carr suddenly has a hard time performing at an acceptable level in prime-time games.
8. Steelers (2-1; No. 5): It’s fair to wonder whether the anthem issue distracted them on Sunday, and whether it will be a distraction going forward.
9. Lions (2-1; No. 7): It was the right application of a fair rule, but something about that outcome still feels all wrong.
10. Titans (2-1; No. 15): If the Titans want to win the division, they need to secure in victory in the city from whence they once came.
11. Bills (2-1; No. 22): The Bills are actually tanking at supposedly tanking.
12. Broncos (2-1; No. 8): It was the right application of a unfair rule, and everything about that outcome still feels all wrong.
13. Eagles (2-1; No. 16): Philly’s latest star athlete is nearly as popular as the city’s most famous fictional one.
14. Vikings (2-1; No. 17): When a team has two quarterbacks, it has none. When it has three, maybe it can make the playoffs.
15. Jaguars (2-1; No. 20): The Jags are the NFL’s new Jekyll-and-Hyde team. Which goes well with their uniforms.
16. Seahawks (1-2; No. 9): This thing could fall apart quickly, and if that happens things could get ugly.
17. Panthers (2-1; No. 14): The defense is good enough to overcome a bad offense, except when facing a really good offense.
18. Rams (2-1; No. 19): Maybe they won’t be pursuing Kirk Cousins next year, after all.
19. Dolphins (1-1; No. 11): “Garbage” is a word few would have envisioned as describing this team’s offense.
20. Ravens (2-1; No. 12): “Garbage” would be a very charitable description for this team’s offense.
21. Buccaneers (1-1; No. 13): Jameis Winston seems to think he can will the Bucs to victory. At times, he can. At other times, he simply can’t.
22. Texans (1-2; No. 18): This team could do some damage in the playoffs, if it can get there.
23. Saints (1-2; No. 26): This team could do some damage in the playoffs, if it can get there.
24. Bears (1-2; No. 27): This team could do some damage in the playoffs, if it can get there.
25. Cardinals (1-2; No. 23): This team can’t get to the playoffs if its quarterback keeps taking damage.
26. Jets (1-2; No. 30): Tanks for the memories.
27. Chargers (0-3; No. 24): Phil, let us know when it’s time to panic.
28. Colts (1-2; No. 32): Andrew, let us know when it’s time to stop panicking.
29. Giants (0-3; No. 25): Ben, how many good teams start 0-3?
30. Browns (0-3; No. 28): The good news is that they still may be the best team in Ohio.
31. Bengals (0-3; No. 29): The bad news is that they still may be the worst team in Ohio.
32. 49ers (0-3; No. 31): If it’s any consolation, I almost made them No. 31.
