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College hoops borrowing plots from fall’s TV lineup?


Mike Miller


I can only dream of a day when most of TV’s primetime lineup was replaced by various college basketball games. I’d be in the minority – apparently I’m one of the few people who doesn’t watch NCIS, DWTS or SVU – but it’s still a delightful thought.

Only … what if certain shows were replaced with teams who could continue that show’s plot?

Take North Carolina. They’re dressed in their goofy best above, which doesn’t fully display all the talent the Heels have. That’s how coach Roy Williams rolls. He simply hoards talented players the way some people horde other random items.

OK, it’s all very tongue-in-cheek, but Jelisa Castrodale takes that idea and runs with it in a very amusing way. Among them:

Fans of “Flip This House” should try Kentucky. John Calipari does the same thing, but with a roster.

Tough comparison with “The Biggest Loser” and the Big East, though. At least “The Biggest Loser” has some redemption at the end.

But my favorite might be contrasting “Fear Factor” with Long Beach State. Here’s Jelisa’s take:

The stunts you are about to see … are extremely dangerous,” the show’s disclaimer says. “And should not be attempted by anyone, anywhere, any time.” The same could go for Long Beach State’s schedule, which has to be the nation’s most terrifying collection of calendar dates. In the next six weeks, the 49ers will play five teams in the top 15: No. 1 UNC, No. 9 Louisville, No. 10 Pittsburgh, No. 13 Kansas, and No. 14 Xavier) and, even scarier, they’re the road trip every time.

Commercial flights AND five ranked opponents? You won all of the stunts, Long Beach. ALL OF THEM.

Casper Ware and the 49ers are the class of the Big West, but that’s downright crazy. Just like the show.

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