Cry havoc and let slip the dogs of Oakland

What? You were expecting a “dog days” headline? Please. We have standards around here.

The paid attendance for last night’s Yankees-A’s game was 23,382. There were 718 freeloaders, however:

It was a rare dog day of summer for the Yankees, who still owned the best record in baseball (57-35) after a night in which 718 dogs attended the game as the A’s attempted to set a Guinness World Record for most canines at a sporting event. They will submit their total to Guinness.

They’d try it with cats, but cats have far too much dignity to be used by their owners in such a craven manner. Cats are basically the pie of house pets while dogs are cake. I mean, dogs are great. I love a good dog. But cats are clearly superior. It’s just science and I will accept no argument against such conclusive and fundamental truths.

Anyway, on the hierarchy of records, this falls someplace below “fattest twins” and somewhere above bee beards and world’s most crooked street. Meanwhile, Robert Wadlow looks down from heaven, safe in the knowledge that no one will ever be more closely associated with the Guinness Book than he.