1. Patriots (five first-place votes): Finally, the rest of the PFT power rankings poll agrees with the boss. Nice to see you guys finally come around.
2. Broncos: Before any of you scream that the Broncos shouldn’t be No. 2, tell me who else should be.
3. Texans: If they win the next three games, the Texans will secure the right to eventually lose in the postseason at home.
4. Falcons: “The worst 11-2 team in NFL history” is still 11-2.
5. 49ers: It’s good they’re playing a playoff team on the road this weekend. The Niners could end up playing a playoff team on the road in the first round of the playoffs.
6. Packers: They’re getting healthy and they’ve found a running game, just in time for the postseason.
7. Seahawks: Unlike the 2005 team that made it to the Super Bowl, this team can win big games away from Seattle.
8. Giants: Tom Coughlin should be in the doghouse for not letting David Wilson out of the doghouse sooner.
9. Ravens: If Cam Cameron’s offense was better, maybe the Ravens defense wouldn’t have blown an eight-point lead to a rookie backup quarterback.
10. Redskins: George McFly thinks this could be a team of density.
11. Colts: Good news? They need one win in three games to get to playoffs. Bad news? They play the Texans twice. Best news? They play the Chiefs in the other game.
12. Cowboys: Like the Chiefs a week ago, the organization has performed admirably under difficult circumstances.
13. Bengals: Beating one NFC East team at home sparked a great run. Losing to another could grease the skids.
14. Steelers: It’s good to see they’ve embarked on another late season effort to “unleash hell.”
15. Bears: G.M. Phil Emery is making a different kind of list than Santa’s.
16. Vikings: Some teams run to set up the pass. Others pass to set up the run. The Vikings run to screw up the pass.
17. Rams: This team is going to end up far closer to a postseason berth than anyone ever would have imagined.
18. Saints: Every team that makes it to the playoffs in the NFC should be very glad that the Saints won’t.
19. Buccaneers: What could have been a special season is still pretty good.
20. Panthers: Superman Returns. Hopefully he’ll stay a little longer this time.
21. Browns: If they run the table, it’ll be impossible to run Pat Shurmur out of town.
22. Dolphins: The team is better, but there’s still no sizzle in South Florida.
23. Bills: C.J. Spiller wants more touches. Perhaps with another team.
24. Jets: Immediately after Stephen Hill injured his knee, Rex Ryan acted like Jerry Seinfeld when he was dating the woman who cried when she dropped her frankfurter.
25. Chargers: After that win over the Steelers, owner Dean Spanos gave coach Norv Turner a game ball. I think those are called “parting gifts.”
26. Eagles: So will the “Keep Andy” signs show up on Thursday night, now that they’ve beaten the Bucs?
27. Titans: Bud Adams will be signing the pink slips by dipping his middle fingers in ink.
28. Lions: When all you have left to play for is getting the single-season receiving yardage record for Calvin Johnson, you might be a redneck. Or at least a crappy team.
29. Cardinals: On my ballot, they were No. 58.
30. Chiefs: If they had gotten some points when up 7-0 and on the brink of the end zone, the outcome in Cleveland could have been different.
31. Raiders: Commissioner Roger Goodell says Oakland needs a new stadium. Oakland says it needs a new team.
32. Jaguars: Tim Tebow says the last shall be first. As long as the last avoids the temptation to acquire Tim Tebow, that could possibly happen.