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Brett Myers is a singer now. His single is called “Kegerator”

Cleveland Indians v Chicago White Sox

CHICAGO, IL - SEPTEMBER 26: Relief pitcher Brett Myers #39 of the Chicago White Sox stands in the dugout after pitching the eighth inning against the Cleveland Indians at U.S. Cellular Field on September 26, 2012 in Chicago, Illinois. The Indians defeated the White Sox 6-4. (Photo by Brian Kersey/Getty Images)

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If you thought that league average pitching and overlooked domestic violence was all that Brett Myers was about, you couldn’t be more wrong. He’s also a singer.

He has a single out. It’s called “Kegerator.” It’s the touching tale of a guy who drank so much beer that his wife kept hassling him so he bought a kegerator and now all his wife sees is one glass instead of a bunch of empty cans. And now he and his friends are “as happy as can be” because their wives are fooled. I wish I was making that up, but I’m not.

Lord help the wife character in the song if she finds out her husband has been hiding his binge drinking and confronts him about it.