In an interview with James Brown of The NFL Today, former Cowboys cornerback Pacman Jones said that he thinks he’ll eventually be re-signed by the team. Seriously. (Now’s your chance, NFL . . . give him a drug test!) The sheepish, smirking prediction came at the end of the interview, and it suggests to us that Jones knows something that the rest of us don’t. Such as, for example, Cowboys owner Jerry Jones telling Pacman that the team can’t afford the embarrassment that would result from Pacman being arrested in the offseason, and so the team is going to release him for now but will re-sign him if he stays out of trouble. (If so, Jerry Jones should instead have conditioned a return on Pacman curing cancer. Jones would have a slightly better chance of returning.) As to the most recent incident involving Pacman, an ESPN-fueled rehashing of allegations first publicized more than 18 months ago, Pacman said that the charges are false. Specifically, Pacman told Brown, “No they’re not true at all, man.” Jones’ lawyer, Robert Langford, clarified the point we made earlier today -- that this is something that was disclosed, reported, and fully investigated when it happened, in June 2007. As to the fact that Jones was back in a “scrip” club four months after that infamous altercation in Las Vegas, Pacman opted to focus on his avoidance of such establishments since then. “Scrip clubs are like regular clubs,” Pacman said. “But you know I haven’t been in a scrip club in, what, two years now, a year and a half . . . almost three years, whatever it is. I haven’t been in a scrip club since that incident. You know, I live and I learn. You know, I likeded the scrip clubs.” And that’s not a typo. Pacman Jones said on national television, “I likeded the scrip clubs.” Like the guy in The Longest Yard that says, “He brokeded my nose.” Someone, anyone . . . please get this onto YouTube and send it to us. [UPDATE: Our friends at SportingNews.com have the video and, more importantly, the audio.] [SECOND UPDATE: Or you can watch it here.]
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[THIRD UPDATE: Pacman’s performance of this classic moment in American cinema.]
