1. Eagles (12-1; last week No. 1): Good news, they clinched a playoff berth. Better news, they don’t care.
2. Bills (10-3; No. 3): TuAnon wants none of the Bills in Buffalo in December.
3. Cowboys (10-3; No. 2): They can spin it all they want; it was embarrassing to be taken to the limit by a one-win team.
4. Chiefs (10-3; No. 4): Why do I feel like everything else is details, and that this is the team that will be hoisting the Lombardi Trophy?
5. 49ers (9-4; No. 5): One too many injuries could keep this team from getting to where it wants to be.
6. Bengals (9-4; No. 7): First, Ohio. Next, the world.
7. Ravens (9-4; No. 9): Even with their top two quarterbacks injured, this team can win in December and January.
8. Vikings (10-3; No. 6): A blowout loss in the divisional round has never felt more certain.
9. Dolphins (8-5; No. 8): The season is at a crossroads, at a time when the road is taking them straight into Buffalo.
10. Patriots (7-6; No. 13): The stretch run may be more than this team can handle.
11. Seahawks (7-6; No. 10): It was fun while it lasted.
12. Commanders (7-5-1; No. 12): They’re built to make it to the playoffs, and to make some noise when they get there.
13. Giants (7-5-1; No. 11): It was fun while it lasted.
14. Chargers (7-6; No. 17): It can become fun, if it lasts.
15. Lions (6-7; No. 18): They’re still facing an uphill climb to get to the postseason, but they’re scaling the rock.
16. Titans (7-6; No. 14): It wasn’t much fun while it lasted.
17. Jets (7-6; No. 15): Even in defeat, Mike White earns more respect from teammates and opponents.
18. Buccaneers (6-7; No. 16): The flesh is willing, but the spirit is weak.
19. Panthers (5-8; No. 22): Steve Wilks is making it harder and harder for David Tepper to not hire him.
20. Jaguars (5-8; No. 25): The Week 18 visit from the Titans could be for the division title, somehow.
21. Browns (5-8; No. 19): The rest of the 2022 regular season is an extended 2023 preseason for Deshaun Watson.
22. Steelers (5-8; No. 20): I won’t give up on a Mike Tomlin team until there’s no path to the playoffs.
23. Falcons (5-8; No. 23): Falcons country, let’s Ridder.
24. Packers (5-8; No. 24): It could be Packers vs. Lions in Week 18 for a wild-card spot.
25. Rams (4-9; No. 29): Hollywood is the perfect place for a really great story that ultimately means nothing.
26. Raiders (5-8; No. 21): Will the Raiders keep Derek Carr? The next four games could answer that question.
27. Cardinals (4-9; No. 26): A horrible 2022 just became a potentially worse 2023.
28. Colts (4-8-1; No. 27): By playing Matt Ryan, they continue to gamble with $17 million.
29. Saints (4-9; No. 28): If they hadn’t choked last Monday night, they’d be in great shape right now.
30. Bears (3-10; No. 30): It’s spoiler season for the Bears.
31. Broncos (3-10; No. 31): When the Broncos slide down our chimney for a Christmas Day game, we’re all getting a lump of coal.
32. Texans (1-11-1; No. 32): When you have two quarterbacks, you have the first overall pick in the draft.