1. Patriots (7-1; last week No. 1): Making New England Dominant Again.
2. Cowboys (7-1; No. 2): Making Jerry Find Gloryhole Again.
3. Raiders (7-2; No. 4): Making The Silver And Black Relevant Again.
4. Falcons (6-3; No. 5): Making Matt Ryan A Franchise Quarterback Again.
5. Chiefs (6-2; No. 6): Making Alex Smith Have A Concussion Unless He Doesn’t Again.
6. Broncos (6-3; No. 3): Making The Broncos Passing Game Mediocre Again.
7. Seahawks (5-2-1; No. 9): Making Russell Wilson Mobile Again.
8. Packers (4-4; No. 7): Making Aaron Rodgers Salty Again.
9. Lions (5-4; No. 15): Making Matt Millen Look Incompetent Again.
10. Texans (5-3; No. 11): Making The Super Bowl Host Team Curse Work Again.
11. Washington (4-3-1; No. 12): Making Josh Norman’s Pockets Lighter Again.
12. Giants (5-3; No. 14): Making The Defense Work Again.
13. Vikings (5-3; No. 10): Making Blair Walsh Miss Again.
14. Steelers (4-4; No. 8): Making Onside Kicks Fun Again.
15. Dolphins (4-4; No. 20): Making An Aqua Uniform With A Marine Mammal On The Helmet Intimidating Again.
16. Eagles (4-4; No. 13): Making Carson Wentz Look Like A Rookie Again.
17. Bills (4-5; No. 16): Making 47-Yard Field Goal Attempts Interesting Again.
18. Bengals (3-4-1; No. 18): Making The Playoffs And Exiting Quickly Again.
19. Saints (4-4; No. 22): Making The Postseason Attainable Again.
20. Ravens (4-4; No. 24): Making Mike Wallace Mike Wallace Again.
21. Cardinals (3-4-1; No. 21): Making Carson Palmer Kevin Kolb Again.
22. Chargers (4-5; No. 23): Making Threats Of Moving Again.
23. Buccaneers (3-5; No. 17): Making Home Fans Leave Early Again.
24. Colts (4-5; No. 27): Making Banners To Hang At The Home Stadium Again.
25. Titans (4-5; No. 19): Making Fans Believe They Can Become A Contender Again.
26. Panthers (3-5; No. 26): Making An Unexpected Run After Being Written Off By Everyone Again.
27. Rams (3-5; No. 25): Making It To 7-9 Again. If They’re Lucky.
28. Jets (3-6; No. 28): Making It Hard To Sell Tickets And PSLs Again.
29. Bears (2-6; No. 29): Making Chicagoans Watch Game Seven Of The World Series Again.
30. Jaguars (2-6; No. 30): Making Some Wish For Tom Coughlin Again.
31. 49ers (1-7; No. 31): Making A Mutual Parting Likely Again.
32. Browns (0-9; No. 32): Making Sadness In The Factory Again.
