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Week Five power rankings


1. Seattle Seahawks (No. 1 last week; 3-1): It’s one thing to have a mobile quarterback. It’s quite another to have a mobile quarterback who knows how to use his mobility the right way.

2. Denver Broncos (No. 3; 3-1): The price of re-signing receiver Demaryius Thomas and tight end Julius Thomas continues to go up and up. And up.

3. San Diego Chargers (No. 7; 4-1): Now they they’ve found a running back in Branden Oliver, this team could be ready to climb all the way to the top of the mountain.

4. Arizona Cardinals (No. 4; 3-1): If the hit from Julius Thomas on Calais Campbell was the dirtiest thing coach Bruce Arians has seen in 37 years, the former Steelers assistant apparently didn’t watch the field when James Harrison was on it.

5. Philadelphia Eagles (No. 6; 4-1): So which team in the NFC East will sign LeSean McCoy after he’s cut in the offseason?

6. Cincinnati Bengals (No. 2; 3-1): It appears the Bengals already are in postseason form.

7. Green Bay Packers (No. 9; 3-2): A week after Aaron Rogers said “relax,” his team played so well that anyone watching the Thursday night game fell asleep.

8. Indianapolis Colts (No. 10; 3-2): They’ve come a long way from a start that put them two games behind the team they’ll play Thursday night.

9. Dallas Cowboys (No. 13; 4-1): Based on the numbers of Texans fans at AT&T Stadium on Sunday, America’s Team apparently is no longer Dallas’s.

10. Baltimore Ravens (No. 5; 3-2): Maybe they need some more controversy to get back to winning.

11. San Francisco 49ers (No. 11; 3-2): “Who’s got it better than us? Nobody, and anybody who suggests otherwise is a loser!”

12. New England Patriots (No. 19; 3-2): The real Patriots fall somewhere between 41-14 and 43-17.

13. Carolina Panthers (No. 20; 3-2): Back in first place after a pair of horrendous showings, the Panthers have become the poster children for this year’s roller-coaster NFL season.

14. Buffalo Bills (No. 21; 3-2): Yes, sometimes the difference between winning and losing is the other team having a really crappy kicker.

15. Pittsburgh Steelers (No. 15; 3-2): An uninspiring victory over a winless Florida team is still better than an uninspiring loss to a winless Florida team.

16. Detroit Lions (No. 8; 3-2): Maybe the fan with the laser pointer was trying to show the Lions where the end zone is.

17. New Orleans Saints (No. 17; 2-3): Barely winning at home is far more troubling than getting blown out on the road.

18. Houston Texans (No. 14; 3-2): J.J. Watt’s case for MVP took a big hit when he missed his chance to blow up Tony Romo.

19. New York Giants (No. 25; 3-2): Who said the Giants would stink this year? Other than everyone?

20. Kansas City Chiefs (No. 16; 2-3): With Denver and San Diego in the division, the Chiefs’ only hope for getting back to the playoffs will be winning a scrum for the No. 6 seed.

21. Cleveland Browns (No. 22; 2-2): If the Browns had gotten blown out in Jimmy Haslam’s home state of Tennessee, he possibly would have traded for Jim Harbaugh this week.

22. Atlanta Falcons (No. 12; 2-3): Going for it on fourth and short from his own 29 with more than four minutes to play and three time outs apparently means that coach Mike Smith agrees with his brother-in-law.

23. Chicago Bears (No. 18; 2-3): The league has figured out Marc Trestman’s offense, and Marc Trestman hasn’t figured out how to counter that.

24. Miami Dolphins (No. 24; 2-2): The last thing any team wants after a blowout win is a bye week.

25. New York Jets (No. 23; 1-4): Will Rex Ryan keep his clock on East Coast time when he’s working as a defensive coordinator for a West Coast team?

26. Minnesota Vikings (No. 26; 2-3): How bad would Thursday night’s game have been if the Packers had actually prepared to face Christian Ponder?

27. St. Louis Rams (No. 27; 1-3): There’s not a clearly winnable game on the schedule under November 30.

28. Tampa Bay Buccaneers (No. 28; 1-4): The Bucs may have gained more confidence in losing at New Orleans than they did in winning at Pittsburgh.

29. Washington (No. 29; 1-4): But for the flags, it would have been another 45-14 blowout on Monday night.

30. Tennessee Titans (No. 30; 1-4): “Piss poor horrible” should be the title of this season’s highlight DVD.

31. Jacksonville Jaguars (No. 31; 0-5): Apologizing for something the mascot did is a lot easier than apologizing for what the team doesn’t do every Sunday.

32. Oakland Raiders (No. 32; 0-4): Interim coach Tony Sparano has buried a football. He should have waited until the players dove in the hole for it.