“It’s the holiday season, and…” Sorry, now you’ll have the Andy Williams’ classic stuck in your head all day. I’m certainly in the holiday spirit, and I thought it might be a fun little exercise to compare notable fantasy hoops players to some of the all-time classic holiday movie characters. From Rudy Gobert‘s tumultuous decline to Zion Williamson‘s bounce-back campaign to Joel Embiid and Nikola Jokić‘s MVP performances, we’re digging into the film and presenting a holiday extravaganza of epic proportions!
Happy holidays and best of luck in all your fantasy leagues!
The Grinch Who Stole the Franchise - Rudy Gobert
All the execs up in Minny
Liked Rudy a lot
But Danny Ainge, who had just arrived in Utah
Did Not
Sitting in his big board room
In his eye a sharp gleam
“I must find a way
To rebuild this whole team”
He fleeced Minnesota
And took four first-round picks
He got Kessler and Vando and Beasley
How slick!
Now Rudy’s been so-so
And the Wolves have been stumbling
Will this go down as a case
Of all-time trade bumbling?
Seussian rhymes aside, the Gobert deal is shaping up to be a bust. Walker Kessler (essentially a “throw in” to make the deal work) has been solid on both ends of the court, Malik Beasley continues to get it done as a scorer, and Jarred Vanderbilt has played some quality basketball. Kessler has provided mid-round value in spurts and could a “silly season hero,” while Vando and Beasley have been steady, top-100 contributors.
🚨 Trade Alert 🚨
— FanDuel (@FanDuel) July 1, 2022
Timberwolves receive:
Rudy Gobert
Jazz receive:
Malik Beasley, Patrick Beverley, Walker Kessler, Jarred Vanderbilt and four first-round picks (2023, 2025, 2027 picks unprotected and 2029 top-5 protected pick) pic.twitter.com/q4xkYcX9zh
Gobert finished as a top-35 fantasy player in each of the last six seasons, finishing inside the top-25 in four of them. He’s currently ranked 41st in per-game value, due to five-year lows in points (14.1), rebounds (12.2) and FG% (65.2). His 1.2 blocks per contest are the second fewest of his career, trailing only his rookie season (0.9) in which he logged fewer than 10 minutes per game.
The Wolves are just 13-13 as the 11th seed in a competitive Western Conference, while the Jazz are 15-14 and vying for a play-in spot. Of course, it’s still early in the season, and both teams’ fortunes can change quickly, but from an NBA and fantasy standpoint, this deal does not look great. Gobert appears to have stolen all of Minnesota’s gifts, roast beast and even the crumbs too small for mice. He may have stolen the Wolves’ championship aspirations in the process.
Harry and Marv (Home Alone) - Anthony Davis
The injuries sustained by the infamous Home Alone burglar duo are so ridiculously cartoonish that their severity is often overlooked. The men sustain multiple blows to the face from heavy objects, electrocution, burning and falls from great heights to name a few. Check out this list of worst Home Alone injuries if you need a little refresher. Who else in the NBA can boast such a comically lengthy list of injuries but Anthony Davis? He was cruising along as fantasy’s top option thanks to robust scoring, rebounding, assists and elite defensive stats, but just when fantasy managers were beginning to trust him, he sustained another devastating injury. AD will be out at least a month, leaving managers scrambling to find a replacement and weather an improbable a probable extended absence from the talented big man.
Los Angeles Lakers star Anthony Davis is expected to miss at least one month after suffering a right foot injury, multiple sources tell @TheAthletic @Stadium.
— Shams Charania (@ShamsCharania) December 18, 2022
Managers looking for a replacement option can snag Davis’ backup can snag Thomas Bryant if he’s still available. Tommy B has averaged 17.7 points, 7.0 boards, 1.3 dimes, 1.7 triples and 1.0 steals across his last three games (two starts, one game with extended action when Davis sustained the injury) and should be a fine fantasy option for the duration of Davis’ absence.
Buddy (Elf) - Zion Williamson
Perhaps no character embodies the pure joy and amazement of a child at Christmas quite like Buddy the Elf. Will Ferrell’s classic character loves to eat maple syrup on everything (yes, spaghetti too), is a master decorator and lights up with unbridled excitement and enthusiasm for all things Santa and Christmas. Is there another player in the NBA who exudes as much joy as Zion Williamson when he’s on the court?
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN... ZION WILLIAMSON. pic.twitter.com/MhjV7Zpl0R
— New Orleans Pelicans (@PelicansNBA) December 10, 2022
His 360 dunk against the Suns in the final seconds of the Pelicans’ win is just one example of a guy playing with the joy of a little kid who’s finally able to slam the basketball on his Little Tikes hoop. Zion’s strong play this season has catapulted the Pelicans to the top of the Western Conference and his recent improvements on defense and as a facilitator have landed him inside the top-24 over the last two weeks. His stock is on the rise, and we’re ready for a fun ride!
Heat Miser and Snow Miser (The Year Without a Santa Claus) - Tyler Herro and Trae Young
If you’ve never seen “The Year Without a Santa Claus,” you’re missing out! The movie follows two of Santa’s elves as they try to elicit Christmas cheer from the world’s people and convince Santa Claus to deliver presents after deciding to call off his annual delivery. Two of the main antagonists are Heat Miser and Snow Miser, bickering brothers who control the earth’s climate zones.
Heat Miser is “Mister Hundred and One” and no player embodies the red-haired hot head more than the Heat’s Tyler Herro. Herro is knocking down a career-best 3.4 triples per game while shooting over 40% from beyond the arc. In a two-game span in mid-December, he hit 19 total threes, tying the franchise single-game record (10) and setting a new two-game mark in the process.
Here’s Tyler Herro making 19 threes in 24 HOURS pic.twitter.com/ML2JAGryD0
— 𝙃𝙀𝘼𝙏 𝙉𝘼𝙏𝙄𝙊𝙉 (@HeatvsHaters) December 16, 2022
On the opposite end of the thermometer is “Mister Ten Below,” Snow Miser. He claims that “Whatever I touch turns to snow in my clutch.” It’s hard to imagine a more apt comparison than Trae Young. He’s earned the nickname “Ice Trae” from years of clutch performances, but that moniker now has a more dubious meaning thanks to his horrendous shooting.
Trae Young 3 PT Shooting:
— Albert Nguyen (@AnalyticsCapper) December 21, 2022
Year 1: 32.4%
Year 2: 36.1%
Year 3: 34.3%
Year 4: 38.2%
This year: 29.3%
The third worst in the NBA.
149th Trae Young 29.3%
150th Tre Mann 28.8%
151st Jalen Smith 27.4%
Young is taking a career-high 21.2 shots per game this season, but he’s shooting career worsts from the field (41.2%) and from deep (29.3%). His terrible FG% is a big drag on his fantasy value, and his 2.1 triples per game are far fewer than fantasy managers expected.
Kris Kringle (Miracle on 34th Street) - Shai Gilgeous-Alexander
Little Susan Walker never believed in Santa Claus… until she met Kris Kringle. Miracle on 34th Street tracks old Kris Kringle’s relationship with Susan as he shows her the true meaning of Christmas and gets her to finally believe in Santa. After years of being on the cusp of greatness but succumbing to injuries and team tanking, fantasy managers are finally starting to believe in SGA.
With his game-winner Monday, Shai Gilgeous-Alexander now has 3 go-ahead FG in the final 2 seconds of the 4th quarter/OT this season.
— ESPN Stats & Info (@ESPNStatsInfo) December 20, 2022
That's tied for the 2nd-most by any player in a season over the last 25 seasons. The only player with more was Kobe Bryant, with 4 in 2009-10. pic.twitter.com/3U0Wufn4xf
Gilgeous-Alexander has been a top-5 fantasy player for most of the season, and he’s my early favorite to win the new “Jerry West Clutch Player of the Year” award. Concerns about health and shutdown are still in the forefront of fantasy managers’ minds, but his play over the first quarter of the season and Oklahoma City’s competitiveness should allay those fears considerably.
Ghosts of Christmas Past, Present and Future (Christmas Carol) - Brook Lopez, Myles Turner, Jaren Jackson Jr.
If Ebeneezer Scrooge was visited by the three ghosts of Fantasy Past, Present and Future, they would surely be BroLo, Turner and JJJ. All three represent the “fantasy cheat codes” of the NBA: big men who can block shots and hit triples at a high rate. The veteran Lopez is enjoying the best fantasy season of his career behind 2.7 blocks and 2.1 triples per contest. He represents the ghost of Christmas Past due to his advancing age.
Zach Lowe on Brook Lopez:
— Legion Hoops (@LegionHoops) December 21, 2022
“I’m saying it right now. Given the time [Khris] Middleton has missed and [Jrue] Holiday has missed and the Bucks have the best record in the league. He is a real All-Star case... Brook Lopez belongs in the All-Star conversation.”
(via @ESPNNBA) pic.twitter.com/cRCIuekGmO
Turner has been around a little bit longer than JJJ and represents the Ghost of Christmas Present, while Jackson Jr. is the ghost of Christmas Future. All three are relevant in fantasy hoops now, and all three are ranked inside the top-20 in per-game value. They’re a perfect representation of the old, new and future guards of talented NBA bigs.
John McClane (Die Hard) - Joel Embiid and Nikola Jokić
The MVP and MVP runner-up over the last two seasons are both included here for obvious reasons. In Die Hard (yep, it’s a Christmas movie), McClane single-handedly takes down Hans Gruber and his henchmen as they attempt to steal $600 million from Nakatomi Plaza. Embiid and Jokic can single-handedly win you a week in fantasy hoops, similar to McClane’s heroics.
Only two players in NBA history have recorded 50+ PTS, 40+ REB, and 20+ AST on 50% shooting over a 2-game span.
— NBA (@NBA) December 21, 2022
Nikola Jokic. Wilt Chamberlain. pic.twitter.com/0pd6pCJ2bk
Both Embiid and Jokic have delivered huge games throughout the season, and I can’t think of any other players who can deliver such impactful performances in the fantasy basketball realm.
Joel Embiid: 59 points, 11 rebounds, 8 assists and 7 blocks in 76ers’ 105-98 victory over Jazz. 26 points and 5 blocks in the fourth quarter. Embiid drops 101 points inside 24 hours in victories over Hawks and Jazz.
— Adrian Wojnarowski (@wojespn) November 14, 2022
Yippee ki-yay, fantasy managers!
