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In excusing Ollie Gordon’s arrest, Mike Gundy seems to admit he’s driven drunk 1,000 times

At some point after his memorable “I’m a man, I’m forty!” rant, Oklahoma State coach Mike Gundy began to morph into a caricature. He’s now on the verge of becoming a full-blown joke.

In explaining his decision not to suspend star running back Ollie Gordon II, who was arrested for driving with a blood-alcohol concentration of 0.11 percent, Gundy reasoned that he’s done the same thing.

Literally, a thousand times.

During the Big 12 media days in Las Vegas, Gundy justified the non-penalty by making a stunning admission.

“So I looked it up on my phone, ‘What would be the legal limit?,’” Gundy said in a televised press conference. “Like, in Oklahoma, it’s 0.08 [percent]. And Ollie was 0.1 [percent]. So I looked it up, and it was based on body weight. Not to get into the legal side of it, but I thought, ‘Really, two or three beers or four.’ I’m not justifying what Ollie did, I’m telling you what decision I made. Well, I thought, ‘I’ve probably done that a thousand times in my life, and you know it was just fine.’ So I got lucky. People get lucky. Ollie made a decision that he wished he could have done better, but when I talked to Ollie, I told him, ‘You’re lucky, you got out light.’”

Even though the comments were made in Las Vegas, drunk driving isn’t a no-harm, no-foul game of chance. The nationwide maximum of 0.08 percent (it’s surprising, and yet it isn’t, that Gundy had to look it up) is aimed at ensuring that no one rolls the dice in the but-for-the-grace-of-God-go-I lottery.

Of course, drunk driving doesn’t always lead to mayhem and death. But it often does. And it quite possibly did earlier this week, in connection with the crash that killed Vikings cornerback Khyree Jackson and two of his high-school teammates, Isaiah Hazel and Anthony Lytton, Jr.

Even Gundy, who lacks the self-awareness to realize that his hair is gradually becoming an $8,000 sable hat that was charged to the Peterman account and left behind so that Costanza could weasel a second date, realizes that he shouldn’t have said what he said. Because Gundy later posted this on X: “My intended point today at Big 12 media days was that we are all guilty of making bad decisions. It was not a reference to something specific.”

It sure seemed to be a reference to something specific. He was referring to having enough beers to be on the wrong side of 0.08 percent and driving. A thousand times.

Meanwhile, Gundy’s estimate regarding the connection between beers, body weight, and BAC seems more than a little off. Under the Oklahoma BAC chart, and given that Gordon is listed by the Oklahoma State website as weighing 215 pounds, it would take not two, three, or four beers to get him to 0.11 but six or seven.

So there’s your lesson for today, kids. If you pick Oklahoma State — and if you’re regarded as someone who can help the team win — you can have six or seven beers and get behind the wheel of a car and you won’t get punished by the coach.

As long as you, and anyone you might injure or kill, get lucky.