Dwyane Wade retired from the NBA this past season after going on a little farewell tour. Now he is trying to adjust to life after basketball, and he’s on a bit of a PR tear. We’ve already heard from Wade and his wife, Gabrielle Union, quite a bit.
Now it appears that Wade must fully integrate back into life without the NBA, and it’s been some time since he last had to take care of some regular everyday things. According to Union, Wade has been out of “regular” life so long that he doesn’t know what an Old Navy is, or that a gallon of milk doesn’t cost $20.
Via James Corden:
I’m not sure if I necessarily believe this. Wade has had offseasons to be a normal human being over the course of his career. It’s not like he gets locked into an empty gym each summer and only stumbles out every September for training camp. Then again, the amount of shopping he’s done at fast fashion retailers is probably low. Wade also likely hasn’t gone food shopping for himself in at least a decade.
Still, I don’t believe that Wade is spending his retirement just wandering around Suburbia amazed at how many places just sell khaki shorts. It’s a great scene to think of, though. There you are at a Kroger just trying to get some half-and-half but blocking you is Dwyane Wade, Miami Heat legend and future Hall of Famer, standing in front of the dairy section like “Huh! A whole gallon for only $2.19? This is wild. I’ve missed so much.”
I don’t know what Wade and Union are trying to sell now that the former is retired from basketball, but if I never have to hear that “Pep Rally” song from that Gatorade commercial ever again, I will buy whatever it is.
I think Wade knows that khaki shorts exist and that a gallon of milk doesn’t cost $20. He’s not Lucille Bluth and he’s not Bill Gates.