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NHL Horoscopes Week 17: Previewing a playoff Mercury Retrograde

nhl horoscopes

There’s only so much time left this season so it’s time to have a talk about the upcoming Mercury Retrograde.

The season began with a Retrograde in Aquarius and it will begin its postseason in a Retrograde in Gemini. There are three Mercury Retrogrades this year and they are all in Air signs. Take that as you will.

Anyways as always expect mayhem. The season is coming to a close.

Stat Leaders

Connor McDavid: 91 points, 60 assists (Capricorn)
Auston Matthews: 39 goals (Virgo)
Max Domi: 73 PIM (Pisces)
Andrei Vasilevskiy: .929 Save % (Cancer)


• Boston Bruins: Highest concentration in Taurus

Leo captain Patrice Bergeron just keeps producing.

Horoscope: The Bruins clinched, all is right in their little Taurus world.

Do: Defensive depth Don’t: Step off the gas

• Buffalo Sabres: Highest concentration in Sagittarius

Virgo goalie Michael Houser won in his NHL debut.

Horoscope: The Sabres had a nice story for once, good for them.

Do: Finish with a good attitude Don’t: Bad vibes

• Washington Capitals: Highest concentration in Taurus/Virgo

Gemini Tom Wilson might be getting a call from the league.

Horoscope: Taurus season has treated the Capitals relatively well, but they have room to push before the season ends.

Do: Safety Don’t: Bad tweets

• New York Rangers: Highest concentration in Aquarius

The Rangers were officially eliminated on Monday.

Horoscope: Well that’s one less Aquarius team.

Do: Figure things out with David Quinn Don’t: Forget to address needs.

• New York Islanders: Highest concentration in Aquarius

Taurus goalie Semyon Varlamov had his shutout streak snapped.

Horoscope: Imagine if they could just score with consistency.

Do: Scoring Don’t: Finish in fourth

• New Jersey Devils: Highest concentration in Scorpio/Sagittarius

The season is nearly over, mercifully.

Horoscope: It’s a limp to the finish line.

Do: Positive finish Don’t: Discourage young guys

• Philadelphia Flyers: Highest concentration in Taurus

Leo goalie Carter Hart is done for the rest of the season.

Horoscope: (Narrator voice) Taurus season was not what they needed.

Do: Something to build on Don’t: Horrible finish x3

Pittsburgh Penguins: Highest concentration in Leo/Taurus

Leo Sidney Crosby is getting hot heading into the playoffs.

Horoscope: The Penguins just keep surging. Taurus season looks good on them.

Do: Offensive burst Don’t: Road struggles

Push for the Playoffs: Bruins, Penguins battle for East Division seeding

BOSTON, MA - JANUARY 28: Boston Bruins left wing Brad Marchand (63) digs for the puck as Pittsburgh Penguins goalie Tristan Jarry (35) asks Pittsburgh Penguins center Sidney Crosby (87) for help during a game between the Boston Bruins and the Pittsburgh Penguins on January 28, 2021, at TD Garden in Boston, Massachusetts. (Photo by Fred Kfoury III/Icon Sportswire via Getty Images)

Icon Sportswire via Getty Images


• Detroit Red Wings: Highest concentration in Aquarius

It’s just Aquarius enough that the Red Wings seem to have an offseason plan.

Horoscope: The ultimate spoilers can keep throwing a wrench into things.

Do: Draft prep Don’t: Forgot the power play x2

[Your 2020-21 NHL on NBC TV schedule]

Tampa Bay Lightning: Highest concentration in Gemini

The Lightning still have a shot at claiming home ice.

Horoscope: It feels like the incoming Gemini season could be a boost for the Lightning.

Do: Comebacks Don’t: Get shut out by the Red Wings

Florida Panthers: Highest concentration in Virgo

Taurus goalie Spencer Knight has won his first four NHL games.

Horoscope: Florida has continued to not go away.

Do: Hot finish into the playoffs Don’t: Lack defensive chemistry

Carolina Hurricanes: Highest concentration in Cancer/Aries

Leo Sebastian Aho netted a hat trick on Monday night.

Horoscope: Carolina has a chance to wrap up the top seed in the Central this week.

Do: Stay surging Don’t: Too much

Nashville Predators: Highest concentration in Gemini

Gemini defenseman Roman Josi netted an overtime winner on Monday.

Horoscope: The Gemini Predators appear to be a playoff team to reckon with after all.

Do: Clinch Don’t: Lose bad games

Dallas Stars: Highest concentration in Gemini and Cancer

Aquarius Tyler Seguin made his season debut on Monday night with a goal.

Horoscope: The Stars might be playing their way out of a playoff spot and not the other way around.

Do: Push to the finish Don’t: Collapse

Chicago Blackhawks: Heaviest concentration in Aries

The late season schedule has not been Chicago’s friend.

Horoscope: They weren’t supposed to contend for a playoff spot anyways, but kudos for pushing for it.

Do: Young guys develop Don’t: Ignore needs this offseason

Columbus Blue Jackets: Heaviest concentration in Cancer

Gemini Emil Bemström picked up a hat trick on Monday.

Horoscope: Countdown to the season ending.

Do: Try to have a positive ending Don’t: Any of this


DETROIT, MICHIGAN - APRIL 15: Jakub Vrana #15 of the Detroit Red Wings skates against the Chicago Blackhawks at Little Caesars Arena on April 15, 2021 in Detroit, Michigan. (Photo by Gregory Shamus/Getty Images)

Getty Images


Minnesota Wild: Highest concentration in Virgo and Cancer

Taurus Kirill Kaprizov is at it again.

Horoscope: It’s hard not to be excited about this Wild team. What they did against Vegas on Monday night was incredible and they can’t lose at home.

Do: Kaprizov for Calder Don’t: Stop fighting for home ice

St. Louis Blues: Highest concentration in Cancer and Aries

The Blues still lead the race for the fourth seed.

Horoscope: They’re 6-3-1 in their last 10 and have turned things around to likely make the postseason.

Do: Any scoring Don’t: Giant slump again

Arizona Coyotes: Highest concentration in Leo

Bad time to slump.

Horoscope: The Leo Coyotes have dropped six of their last 10 games, which isn’t a good time for it.

Do: Offense Don’t: Slump instead of making the playoffs

San Jose Sharks: Highest concentration in Aries

The Sharks are going out with a whimper.

Horoscope: It’s tough to say a team that wasn’t expect to make a run has blown a chance at making the playoffs, but that’s how weak the bottom of the West has been.

Do: Regroup for next season Don’t: Dwell

Vegas Golden Knights: Highest concentration in Leo

Capricorn Jonathan Marchessault has gotten hot.

Horoscope: The Knights just have to hope they don’t run into Minnesota in the playoffs.

Do: Fleury records Don’t: Play Minnesota

Anaheim Ducks: Heaviest concentration in Aquarius

Much like Columbus, Anaheim is wishing away the end of the season.

Horoscope: Anaheim needs to move on to next season.

Do: Game plan Don’t: Bad contracts

Los Angeles Kings: Highest concentration in Libra

Next year? Get some scoring help.

Horoscope: Virgo Cal Petersen is a goalie to build from, at least.

Do: Goaltending Don’t: Limp to the finish

Colorado Avalanche: Highest concentration in Scorpio

Taurus Devan Dubnyk stepped up when they needed him to.

Horoscope: Colorado took a rare loss on Monday night but is still in the driver’s seat.

Do: Dominate Don’t: Too much too soon

Cole Caufield First Goal

MONTREAL, QC - MAY 1: Cole Caufield #22 of the Montreal Canadiens scores his first NHL goal in the game against the Ottawa Senators at the Bell Centre on May 1, 2021 in Montreal, Quebec, Canada. (Photo by Francois Lacasse/NHLI via Getty Images)

NHLI via Getty Images


Vancouver Canucks: Heaviest concentration in Cancer and Libra

The Canucks have lost five in a row.

Horoscope: They just need to get to the offseason.

Do: Be safe Don’t: Stress about the end

Calgary Flames: Heaviest concentration in Pisces

Should be eliminated sometime this week.

Horoscope: Now 10 points out of the playoff race, they start playing kind of well.

Do: Move on Don’t: Neglect finding scoring

Edmonton Oilers: Heaviest concentration in Cancer and Libra

Capricorn Connor McDavid, at it again.

Horoscope: The Oilers clinched on Monday night and now get to look forward to losing to the Leafs in the playoffs.

Do: McDavid highlight goals Don’t: Fall to third

Winnipeg Jets: Heaviest concentration in Aries

Not a good time to lose seven in a row.

Horoscope: Talk about backing into the playoffs. Brutal stretch for the Jets could cost them the third seed.

Do: Win just a little Don’t: Defensive woes

Ottawa Senators: Heaviest concentration in Pisces

The Chaos mode Senators are ending on a strong note.

Horoscope: Seven wins in their last 10 games and they might not even finish in last.

Do: Take the good vibes Don’t: Relax the pace

Montreal Canadiens: Heaviest concentration in Leo and Taurus

Capricorn Cole Caufield has arrived.

Horoscope: Don’t look now but the Habs could end up in that third seed.

Do: Cole Caufield overtime goals Don’t: Late collapse

Toronto Maple Leafs: Heaviest concentration in Gemini

Virgo Auston Matthews keeps on scoring.

Horoscope: Maybe Matthews ends up with the Hart, maybe not, let’s debate it online for three months.

Do: Beat the teams chasing you Don’t: Nonsense


Marisa Ingemi is a writer for Pro Hockey Talk on NBC Sports. Drop her a line at or follow her on Twitter @Marisa_Ingemi.